a

again, and this time I was smili

an behind the glass door still hadn't said one kind word to me. But I'd gone to sleep with a full stomach for the first time in months, and I'd woken up

ulder, folders fanned out in front of her like a hand of cards. S

a good mo

"Sorry. I didn't sleep much. I mean, I did, but I w

died me for a second. I started the coffee, because I'd learned that if I was bus

d, scooping grounds into the fil

rmal? For an assistant? Because I looked it up last night, and most places give like two or

because she'd

er face did something I couldn't read, a flicker like someone

ousand," sh

, ma

rst-year

aid." My smile started

hands on the desk, and for the first time since I'd met her she looked me straight in

outh and noth

appy to get the job, and it was the first time anyone..." I pressed my lips together. "I signed it. I signed the contract in his office, and I didn't read it.

and read it. All of it, every page, even th

t was tight. "Is

dges. "I said read your contract. Anyone who signs something they haven't read has no business being

, like all older women who'd seen too much. I told myself that big companies were complicated

full minute after he'd sat down, and I coul

nds behind my back, waiting to be dismissed. I'd already learned the meaning of

s Sm

s,

n ar

eling like a mannequin on display, aware of every thread on my sleeves, and when I faced him

. "No, sir. A friend lent it to me. Nancy, fro

This company has clients who notice things like that. Shoes, sleeves, fabric. The person who s

whole life learning how to hide that I didn't have enough.

whispered. "I

d name. "You were paid fifteen thousand dollars yesterday. Spend some of it. Buy clothes that fit, a

s inside my left shoe, where the sole had been peeli

"Be here at seven tomorrow." "Yes, sir."

rying where you wipe your face fast and glare at your reflection like it's the one who started it. By the time the doors opened on the ground

nd dollars. Rent was nine hundred. I needed to eat. I needed some kind of safety net, because a girl like me didn't get to forget about safety nets. If I spent two thousand, I'd

clothes from thrift bins and clearance racks my whole life, always checking the tag first, always holding things up and putting them back. This time a

s my shoulders like it had been made for me. For a second I just stared in the mirror. My hair was frizzing and

n said softly from the do

a gray pencil skirt I wasn't sure I'd ever have the nerve to wear, a coat that didn't smell like the bus, and two pairs of shoes: black flats and low heels I would a

never owned a scent in my life. I didn't know what I liked. I didn't even know what I smelled like. I tried six and felt nothing, and then a sev

aven," the woman beh

of my mind, I bought a lipstick, some mascara, and

ver twenty-two hundred dollars. I'd never spent that much in my life. I kept waiting for the guilt to hit, th

for years, which was walk into a real groc

cheese that cost more than my whole dinner the night before. I bought olive oil. I bought three kinds of spices I couldn't pronounce, and then, standing in front of the little jars, I bought every spice I'd ever seen m

bus stop and a very patient

irst batch of onions because I didn't know how high to turn the heat, and the whole room filled wit

and rich and real. For the first time since I'd moved in, it smelled like somebody lived there. I ate sitting cross-le

best meal I

fully full, and sat down on the floor with my phone. There was an email in my inbox from the HR depa

But I was so full, and so warm, and so tired, and for the first time in my life I'd done something good for myself. I'd stood in front of a mirror a

ll read it tomorrow. After

ight, and I fell asleep smelling like vanilla