la's

ombination sat wrong in my throat. I kept swallowing like that would push it down, like it would settle somew

refused to

The cuff of my sleeve twisted under my grip, threads pulling loose one by one. I watched it happen without stopp

elt personal. Each second landed cleanly, deliberately,

unced once, then again, until I for

more. I had st

the sound of it made my shoulde

ss H

s of the room. She stood there with a clipboard tucked against her ch

g a hand against the armrest

That'

ng aside to let me

s reflecting off the polished floor in a way that made everything feel

she asked, gla

ealized she might

you settled. The doct

me into a small examination room and moved efficiently, checking thi

ting the edge of the examination t

ying every shift of my weight. The nurse gave me one last s

ed again, thic

at the machine beside me. My breathing felt shallow, like t

or open

e atmosphere. She had kind eyes, the kind that lingered a moment longe

ted, pulling a stool c

voice came

it, just nodded gentl

ers curling into the edg

ding. "We'll take things step by step. There

ke relief, more like something I had be

ords slipped past me. My attention snagged on the small details instead, the way her hands moved with

and lie b

was plain, unremarkable, a faint crack running a

l against my skin pulled a

," I m

faintly. "It

she moved the transducer slowly across my abdomen. The mac

e normally,"

tri

, forming something indistinct. I turned my head slightly, wat

ere was nothing b

sound bro

id softly. "That

my throat. My hand lifted instinctively, hovering near my mouth bef

" I asked, though

's you

the screen blurring as tears

nd, to let it anchor me, but

cer is angle

chine changed pitc

n't say

ightened agai

ked, the question slipping

the screen. The silence stretched, each

voice strain

t alarmed, but somethin

almost to herself.

and insistent in my ear

d me, her expression gentler now, but

her tone careful. "You'

swallowed. "Wh

he monitor. "There are

hifting on the screen,

question scrape

briefly before

ilt, the edges of it

he word unfamiliar in

drupl

uite form either. My hand dropped from my mouth to my stomach, pressing light

ead, the motion slow, disbeli

steady. "But it is possible. And from what

anding against something

I tried again, my voice thinner. "I can barely man

tence di

m, grounding, present. "You don't h

screen. The sound filled the room again, not one steady rhythm but several, lay

e to start," I admitted,

e said. "You won't be

ing free anyway, tracing warm pa

show me?" I a

artbeat was, and how they were positioned. I followed her finger, trying to separate th

oth heavy and unsteady, like I was carrying someth

e paper slightly curled at the edges

"Do you have someone you can ca

mind, names attached to th

the

papers, forcing a small shak

then nodded, not pushing. "I

wi

lway, then into the waiting

air that felt too sharp against my skin. Cars passed, v

ood s

hands as I looked down at them again, t

ely to my stomach, restin

whispered, the words carried awa

roat tightening as

tinued, softer now. "I

d, though the certainty wave

eyes, letting the noise b

opened t

holding them closer, as if that wou

started