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   Chapter 30 Looking Back on Past Follies

An Uncertain Present By Grace Estellar Characters: 12312

Updated: 2020-05-17 22:56

****Daniel's POV****

Lately, it was getting harder for him to breathe. He was tired, so tired of all the drama, of all the pain. He knew yelling at Clary solved nothing but he couldn't help himself. Grief had been a companion to him for so long. Even now, those tendrils of lost still clutched at him through the abyss.

Daniel was back at the Lightwood manner. The lights were off as the rain pelted down yet again. They had been getting rain very often lately, he was beginning to get annoyed with the way it clung to his wings and weighed his body down further. He landed before trudging up to the tall doors. They were an expansive black, with the torch symbol of the Lightwoods engraved on them in white-gold. Daniel could still remember the day Lightwood manor was first finished. How bittersweet that day had become.

Flashback. . .

"Isn't it beautiful Sara! Don't you think Harmony will love it?"

The twins were standing right outside the front gates, the new mansion a huge building reaching up to the sky. Sara eyed the place with amusement, her Herondale ring glittering on her ring finger. She was engaged to be married soon to Rhys Herondale. He figured visiting the new home would be a good reprieve from all the wedding planning she was caught up in.

"Hmm, yes. I think it's wonderful." Sara's tone was distant, her dark eyes focused on the ground. A sprig of weeds sprouted up from a crack in the paved gravel. Daniel would have it fixed by tomorrow.

"Are you even listening to me?" He asked.

Sara huffed. "I am. I am, I promise."

"Okay. Let's do a grand tour."

Sara's attention returned to her twin. With no one else around their wings were out in the open, catching the sunlight. Daniel always thought his own wings looked like pale shadows during the daylight hours. While Sara's wings were not complimentary to the light in the way Pippa's and Harry's sunburst colors were, Sara's had their own sort of beauty. Their pearlescent gleam was like a gift of the morning dawn, pink and pleasant.

"I can't. Have plans."

"Plans? What for?"

"Nothing you should worry about Dan."

He sighed, his fingers clenching and unclenching. Daniel knew that tired tone, had heard it when their Uncle Samuel went missing two short years ago. The woman he loved had been brutally murdered; such was the fate of several a Downworlders back in the day. Mundanes just could not accept them the way they should. Eventually, this would be one of the main reasons why the Shadow World would separate from the rest of the World, keeping hidden from several angry stares and raised pitchforks.

"This is about Jonathan, isn't it?"

Sara said nothing, just gave him a nod. Daniel sighed.

"Why didn't he tell me anything. I thought we were friends?"

"Of course you two are friends. Jonathan hasn't even told David yet about the illness."

"Oh. I see."

After rescuing his parabatai from a dark possession, Jonathan had become sick. It had started off as a small cough before transitioning into a full on fever. With some help, they were able to cure him the first few times. But it's been too many years now. There won't be any cure this time.

All of them knew this day would come eventually, though something twisted in his stomach at the thought of that day coming soon.

"Daniel, are you okay?" Sara asked.

"This is really it huh? I thought we'd have more time with him." Daniel could remember the day he first met Jonathan. The first Shadowhunter was a strange guy, so idealistic for the times.

"I did too. We'll get through this together Daniel, I promise."

The hug she pulled him into alleviated the pain in his chest. And Sara had

traits hanging in the hall. So many of them looked like him, but it was the ones that reminded him of her that he was avoiding. The resemblance was uncanny. Daniel could still feel the tremble of pain running through him from the first time he met Isabelle. They were so similar. It left him feeling sick.

Each footfall felt heavy as he approached the master suite. There were several on this level, but only one of them had Daniel ever slept in. It was where he lost his virginity to his first wife all those years ago. The passion between them had been splendid, as had the love they passed on to their children.

Those days were so much easier than the nightmare of now. Daniel could hardly blame himself for yearning for her. Harmony would know what to say; she would know how to comfort him. She would know how to make him stop hurting. But she wasn't hear anymore. There had been a time when Shadowhunters were buried in the ground instead of having their ashes used to build up the Silent City. If he wanted to Daniel could visit her grave. But he could not, not with the work still to be done.

It felt strange to knock on his own bedroom door, but surprising his guest was a terrible decision. Like Harmony, the emotions he felt for this man ran long and far. There wasn't anything the two wouldn't do for each other. Except be with me apparently. Maybe it was for the best that Daniel and Armando never got together. He felt sick thinking about all the mistakes they made, all the words still left unsaid.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

There was no response.

Daniel frowned. What was going on? Why wasn't Armando answering? He tried again. Perhaps the warlock did not hear him? Daniel hardly knocked, maybe he was bad at it without knowing. Foreboding flooded him as he tried again.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

When there was no answer after five minutes of agonizing waiting, Daniel tested the doorknob. It clicked open with hardly any prying, not even locked. The door swung open. He was met with the sight of a seemingly ordinary room. But then there was the bed. Daniel could feel his jaw going slack as his wings flushed out in alarm. A slash of blood was pooled at the center of the comforter. Resting at the top was a pristine looking note. The letters on it were serial killer style, making his stomach flop.

I have Armando.

The message was clear. Daniel felt his world crashing down.

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