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   Chapter 21 Destiny or Coincidence

Destiny or Coincidence? By sprinklePT14 Characters: 14576

Updated: 2019-07-01 19:34

Athira Patel

I just stood there shocked to the core remembering what just happened by placing both of my hands on my mouth. My mind went blank for a few seconds thinking about the kiss between me and Dev. Never in my wildest dreams have i thought that this day will come and i have to face this kind of situation. Hell i never even thought that Dev will have feelings for me. What the hell is happening with me these days and me being the centre of all these kind of situations?

This is so wrong.. We shouldn't be doing this. Why did I even encourage him kissing me in the first place? Why did I even respond to him? What is wrong with me?

Oh my god. I have kissed my best friend…. This is so wrong..

My mind started repeating the same words again and again about how wrong it is. I felt like to shout from the top of my lungs and to run away to the far end corner for some peace.

Tears started flowing down my eyes thinking of it and i felt like a slut responding to the kisses to everyone. I looked up when Dev called me from where he is standing looking all concerned and sad at the same time. By the look on his face, even he too regretted after doing it and was feeling hurt by seeing my reaction to this. He started coming closer when I shook my head saying not to come any further.

"Please dont cry Athira" He said coming forward looking all broken and hurt and at the same time feeling sad for me. But i am not in a position to be near him and register anything in my mind. I want him to leave me alone presently. I need sometime to grasp all of this mess and to get a grip on my feelings. It felt as if someone was covering my nose with their hands by blocking me not to take any air but found myself doing this and then removed my hands by folding them in front of me as a shield while clutching my shirt tightly to keep me from breaking down.

"Leave me alone Dev. Please don't come near to me" I said after founding my voice while crying.

"Athira please…" he again started to explain to make me control but it did quite the opposite to me. Why cant he see that i want to be left alone and get my brain to peace.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE DEV" I shouted looking at him seriously with a tear stained face. I can see that he is shocked listening to me. In fact even I was shocked because never in my life have I shouted at him like this. But presently i'm not in a mood to make it correct. I want some peace. "Please, I need some space to grasp all this." I again said trying to explain even though i am not in a mood to explain anything.

He looked at me for a few more moments before nodding his head and turned around walking and closing the door behind him leaving me alone.

Once he left the room i fell on the bed placing my face in the pillow and started crying thinking of all the events these past weeks. I feel so dirty that I hate myself for it. What if Dev thought that i have feelings for him? Oh god… I don't even know why in the first place i have reacted to his kiss. I never felt anything to him after Akash chapter. It was just a crush in my teenage years but now i see Dev as just my good friend.

Then why in the hell did I kiss him back? Dammit. It's all so confusing.

I shouted in the pillow to cover my sounds and to release all my frustration. But still it's the same. I want to slap myself repeatedly for doing this.

I cried giving in to my emotions for some more moments without holding back.

I really need to talk with someone to get clarity on my emotions and my first thought is of Riya. But I felt as if she betrayed me by keeping a secret of Dev's. So I just ignored talking with her presently.

Mom, why you are not with me when I needed you the most now. You have always suggested the right thing to do whenever I felt confused about something. You always used to come to my room and pet me when I cried my eyes out and you just used to listen to all my silly complaints patiently without laughing at me. I miss you so much mom. I really need your suggestion now.

I even thought of calling my dad but decided against it since he will take tension seeing me like this. I don't want him to worry because of me.

Then my mind reminded me of the only other person who can listen to me and give me a suggestion. Even if not a suggestion, at least i can share all my messed up feelings.

ately you pushed him away. But already the damage had been done" she explained to me everything looking at me. But my heartbeat is increasing thinking that she might be correct and I am not ready to accept it.

"No that's not right. I don't have any feelings for abhilash. He is just egotistical, arrogant, dumbhead jerk who likes to annoy me a lot. And he is my stupid project manager. Yes i agree that I got attracted to him, but that's it. Nothing more." I said everything in a hurry that I am afraid if I might stop then whatever aunty said will become true.

Aunty laughed out loud hearing my name's to abhilash. I think this is the first time I said to a person what I always say to myself about him. I smiled not knowing what to do.

After a few moments she composed herself saying "oh god Athira, you are very open when you want to scold your manager right. I hope he listens to what you have to say about him. I want to see his expression when he gets to know his other pet names from you" she said laughing making me laugh too.

"But according to what I am seeing now, you are not ready to accept anything related love or any feelings because you are scared. But think about it beta. Until or unless you accept your feelings, every time you will face the same confusion in your mind which messes with your head and heart. Think wisely. I know you are an intelligent girl. You can take your decision alone. But think before you decide anything. Don't let your past experiences affect your beautiful future. Everything won't be the same and not everyone is the same either." She said patting my shoulder and hugging me sidewards while rubbing my back with her hand soothingly.

I nodded my head without saying anything because I don't have any words to say. If what aunty said is right then I think I have started looking Abhilash without even knowing myself. And the problem is I am scared to death thinking about those feelings again and I am truly afraid that I might face the same heartache because of these feelings.

"Come, let's get you to the bed. It's past midnight and you have office tomorrow" she said making me get up and taking me to the guest room of her house.

I was already feeling sleepy so when I saw the bed, I immediately went to it and got inside the bed making myself comfortable when aunty spoke.

"You are so tired. Rest. Will talk tomorrow. Good night beta" she said placing a kiss on my forehead and covering a duvet on me while switching off the lights and closing the door behind her.

After she went, I thought about how she made me feel as if I am her own daughter to which I smiled inwardly. Unknowingly I have met a mother figure and I am glad to meet her in my life.

Thank you mom for sending aunty into my life. I love you so much. I said snuggling closer to myself and drifting off to sleep thinking about those same chocolate brown eyes again.

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