MoboReader > Romance > If Only He Knew

   Chapter 60 Don't Break My Heart Anymore

If Only He Knew By lily97000 Characters: 13458

Updated: 2019-06-10 21:44


Emily's Pov:

I organised all the fresh ingredients in the fridge, throwing away all the rotten and expired food products into the dustbin.

Stirring the glass of lemon water after adding a bit of salt, I drank it in one shot, cold water soothing my frustrated nerves and relaxing my body.

It had been three weeks already and I didn't receive anything satisfying from Cyber security and surveillance department, regarding the precise location of Mia or her whereabouts.

I heard shuffling of things, heavy footsteps on stairs resonated the ambient and I abruptly turned towards the kitchen counter, busying myself in wiping off the wet dishes.

My heart twisted painfully in my chest, remembering those three words which I had always wanted to hear from Edward my whole life, and which he indeed said to me but this time, those beautiful words weren't for me though.

His love and his feelings were for someone who held that special place in his heart which I couldn't even dare to take it, no matter how many years I would continue to be his friend.

No matter how many sacrifices I would continue to make for his sake!

"Good morning, lily!" Edward took his seat, scooting his chair closer to the dining table.

"Good morning" I continued to wipe off crockeries, not daring to turn around to look at him, knowing very well that my heart would betray my feelings once more and would forgive him for every pain and rejection he gave me every day, as a gift for standing by his side all my life.

"Here! Come and eat with me! It's been a long time since we ate together and I really miss eating with you!" He patted the chair beside him, motioning him to join him.

"I couldn't make anything good for breakfast today, Edward! Hope you don't mind-"

"I can eat everything as long as it's made by you, Lily!" Edward smiled at me, his hand still on the chair beside him, urging me to join him.

"Yeah but still, I couldn't wake up early today so-"

"Now will you please sit and eat with me if you're done nagging yourself already!?"

I nodded meekly and walked towards him, turning the plates around and started to serve him warm food. After placing spoons and fork on his side, I took seat beside him, still not looking at him.

Taking some food on my own plate, I dug my fork into the vegetables and stuffed it leisurely into my mouth.



"Why are you eating just vegetables in your breakfast!? You keep talking of my own nutrition and stuff when you yourself aren't taking proper care of your diet and your body!"

I sighed. "I don't really feel like eating, you know. It all seems just a boring work to me now!"

"Eating doesn't come in some boring work, Lily!"

"I don't know anything anymore, Edward." I looked at him, my eyes blank and deprived of every sort of emotions I was capable of feeling."I don't feel like talking to anyone now, I just want to stay alone in my room and I want everyone to hate me, to think of me as nothing more than some creature who doesn't care about anyone or anything and is selfish beyond recovery about her life and her own happiness!"

"What're you talking about!? My Emily is far from being selfish and she cares about each and everyone in her life. She is selfless as a freak and would do anything to bring a smile on someone's face!"

"I don't know. Maybe it's all because I have been wrong all along in my judgement, caring for those who doesn't even know what I actually want!"

Edward's eyes softened at my words and he shifted his chair closer to my side. He raised his hands to cup my chin but I stood abruptly from my chair, leaving his hands in air instead.

Turning my back at him, I turned to leave when he caught my wrist firmly and pulled me back to my chair. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, covering my fingers over his hand which was clutching my wrist and shoved his palm roughly to his side, leaving him shocked and gaping at my rude behaviour.

"What the-Are you seriously mad at me, Emily!? Why h

touches though!"

I stared at him in shock and embarrasment. "Seriously Edward you're saying all this shamelessly to me when you still have your first love as your fucking girlfriend! Don't you have a least bit of decency left in your words!?"

Edward shrugged nonchalantly. "Yes! But it's a truth after all!"

"It's a half truth, Edward, not the whole of it!"

"Then tell me the full of it, if you can, Emily!"

"I can't-"

"I don't understand what's wrong with me touching you like that!?"

I looked at him with sheer anger, my temper getting on my nerves. "I don't like it when you touch me!"

And you don't mean it!

"Oh so now you don't even like my touch!? Why so!? Any complete stranger can come out of nowhere and ask you on a date in front of me and I can't even touch my own best friend!? This is unfair, Emily! Totally unfair!"

I glared at him, tears of determination now brimming in my eyes, and I took two complete steps towards him. Our faces now stood close to each other, our noses touching and I stared deeply into his ocean blue eyes. "Do you want me, Edward!?"

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What-"

"Do you want to have sex with me!?"

I saw his eyes widening like saucers as heat rushed quickly to his face and he took one hesitant step away from me.

"Do you seriously want our pious friendship, our twenty years of long unbreakable bond, to turn into all this "friends with benefits" shit!?"

Edward looked away from my penetrating gaze, his eyes reflecting shame and regret.

"Answer me, Edward! I asked you a fucking logical question!"

I gauged his reaction for some time, waiting for his answer but none came from his side.

"See, Edward you're just attracted towards me" I looked down the floor and whispered to myself "As I am to you" I felt his eyes boring holes into my skin, at my sudden bold words. Collecting my courage, I looked at him, to show him the bare truth in my eyes. "And nothing else. I honestly understand all this 'cause it's kinda obvious and inevitable kind of thing between opposite genders!" Edward looked at me and I averted my gaze somewhere else. "But what I can't allow is this "attraction" thing to eat up what has existed proudly between us all these years! Our friendship is very special to both of us and that's why what I'm trying to say here may sound a bitter truth at first but still we can't deny that it is the only truth after all!"

Edward nodded lightly, his head hung low in realisation now. "I am sorry for everything, Emily! I'll never do anything like that again!"

I smiled at him. "Yes, that's better for both of us! You should get going now! It's getting late!"

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