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   Chapter 37 She was so distant

Rent a Christian boyfriend By Antonette Liebermann Characters: 10043

Updated: 2019-04-04 22:46

I stared-

And stared.

Looked intently.

Leona came back last night, Sam drove her home. I didn't expect her to since she said she wasn't coming back home. I got a little more time to talk to her mom, her dad had went straight back to work after their little vacation with Marissa and Frank. She had been giving me a cold shoulder ever since she found out that I was sleeping with her angel. She saw me as a bad guy. I practically was. I explained to her about my past and right there after she understood how and why I felt a certain way about the topic HIV. She was so consoling as she apologized about how ill-formed she had acted towards me. She even suggested a book for me to read, she said something along the lines 'it will give you inner healing to forgive your father and accept the things you couldn't change.' I read it through out the night, I didn't have much to do. She was right, it was actually good. I felt a tad bit better and less angry. I still hated him but this book gave me a different mindset about everything around me. It didn't only change my view on my hatred for my dead father but... I was actually looking forward to seeing my brother.

It was mind-opening.

Luka was my brother and he was coming to see me for my birthday. That made me feel excited, I had finished this book at four thirty in the morning. For the next hour, I just stared at the ceiling thinking about my life and the direction I was leading.

Leona was the reason was Luka was visiting. She cared a lot about me and how do I repay her? I rub the fact that I have a girlfriend in her face every given moment when not so long ago, I was feeling every inch of myself deep inside her on a hotel balcony and at the beach, in the middle of the night.

I suppose Luka coming wasn't a bad idea. I hadn't seen him in years and well I was tired of being angry. The book that I read said that you can't be happy and bitter at the same time, one has to go. I had to let it go. I was angry with a dead man. He loved his life and here I was spending my life hating him. A total waste of time. Luka was the only family, I had and I wanted to try and be a good younger brother. He had once asked me to be his best man but I turned him down. I know he has a daughter and being with Marissa's twins made me realize, I would make a good uncle. I wanted to put an effort in relationships and friendships. I want to love and be loved. I want to be cared for, I don't want to be alone and be content with it because it's all I know. I want to be open to new beginning, I want to do something with my life. I want to settle in one country, one city, one town, one house, with one person.

I want to fix my life.

But where do I start?

"Is there cheese in this thing?" Leona asked.

"Yes, I know how much you love cheese." Her mom replied but Leo frowned.

"It tastes funny." She said closing her mouth with her right hand, a cringe right under. "Maybe you bought a different brand, it tastes like soap.." Leon

ired and-"

I immediately cut her off.

"What happened to us Leona?" I questioned, just a few days ago. She was sleeping in my arms, in the bathtub on the bed. Talking about anything from her fear of spiders to how pineapple on pizza is actually good and people just sneak diss for no good reason what so ever. I was losing her, I could feel her slipping out of my fingers slowly being distant.

"There was no us, Eric." She shrugged.

"We both know you're lying.." I replied, hurt by her statement.

"We had sex on different occasions and hang out. That's just about it." She shrugged.

"It wasn't just sex." I retorted.

"Whatever it was uhm I will see you later." I could tell talking about it made her very nervous and jumpy. I didn't say anything, what could I say? She three steps away she stopped, holding her hand to her mouth. Bile attempting to come back up, I immediately went to her aid and when I touched her. The sparks were undeniable, I never thought I would say I missed just touching her skin without sounding like a weirdo.

"I'm fine, perfectly fine. Let me go." She said defensively and I did.

"You can't go out when you're feeling like this." I protested.

"It's nothing." She said.

"I'm taking you to the doctor to get some proper pain killers or something."

That's when she freaked out.

"What no! I'm a nurse, I know exactly how to treat myself." She said defensively.

"Alright alright, no harm done. I was just suggesting."

She looked at me weirdly before pulling away from from my arms. I missed her touch already. I watched her confidently walk out the door. She was going out with Nick to the vet with a dog. Why did I feel like ninety percent of this story wasn't adding up. It really surprised me to see her wearing a dress. She was always in jeans that shaped her in every way and a cute blouse that always had me guessing what the color of her bra was. I suppose she really wants to look good for Nick.

He was certainly one lucky guy.

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