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   Chapter 34 She was so in denial

Rent a Christian boyfriend By Antonette Liebermann Characters: 10843

Updated: 2019-04-04 22:43


I purposely woke up earlier than her so i could watch her sleep and feel like the luckiest jerk in the world. She actually wanted me? This beautiful woman wanted me! She had not said it back as in 'Ich liebe dich' or 'I love you' but i respected that. I respected that she was still thinking about this as much as i was and figuring it out. Deep down, i knew this was just an excuse... figuring what out you may ask? I was well aware that i wanted Leona in every way possible but then there was Debby. My feelings for her were mutual maybe when i actually see her all my feelings will just come right back or not. Maybe not, maybe i just want to be with Leona then there's the thought that I felt this way about Leona because I was lonely? Felt needy? I honestly don't know.

I was a confused cockroach and i was just dragging Leona into my pit of misfortunes. I am selfish enough to do that... selfish enough to not let her go be with someone who actually wants to stay with her... for as long as it lasts. Not someone who doesn't know what they want and still wants it all even if they can't have it all.

Last night.

We talked and bathed.

I washed her hair, I loved doing that. I love her hair, her smile when she thinks of something that excites her... it's so out of the blue and so damn beautiful. Her face just brightens up-

I smile out of no where.

She slept in the midst of our talks, i didn't mind sleeping with a boner for her sake. I found it weird that i enjoyed sleeping with Leona on her single bed rather my proper bed in the guest room. It was cozy and it gave no room for any distance between us meaning i felt every meander of hers and she felt every inch of mine. She fluttered her eyes open, for a minute.. i watched her being utterly confused till it finally dawned onto her. I saw a smile crawl on her lips at the thought of something she then frowned.

I became concerned.

"What's wrong Leo?" I was quick to ask.

I know, i know she had said she hated that question but i couldn't help it. My lips moved much quicker than any thoughts i could fathom. She worried me, was she having second thoughts about us? That absolutely scared me. Did she want to talk about Debby because that would just ruin the mood. Did I do something wrong that I can't seem to remember? Jesus Christ! I hate feeling this way and acting like her every reaction doesn't bother me is probably the hardest part of all this. Putting up my 'I don't give a fuck stance' when she could literally tell me to jump off a bridge and-

I would.

Without a doubt, I know I would.

"I.."

She was speaking too slow for my liking, that's when the thought came to mind.

Tell her you love her.

I love you Leona.

I love you.

I didn't know how this thought came to mind and it made me shiver with fear. I knew it had to be wrong, I couldn't accept it... no I'm just in panic mode. I don't know what to think at this point, I probably didn't get enough sleep because-

"I did something and you're probably going to hate me for it." Leona turned to look at me. I understood what she was saying but I couldn't deny that she was a such a wave of fresh air. Waking up next to her absolutely made me weak. It was the second best thing

ot going to sit here and pretend I don't."

I knew this conversation was becoming dreadful and exhausting.

"Why do you want me Eric? I'm not some trophy or some achievement. You already had me just leave me alone." She huffed.

"I had you... and in those moments that's when I was the most happiest.." I admitted, I saw her look away from me. She didn't believe me clearly.

"You're annoying.." She said softly, I knew I was getting to her.

"I'm sorry for lashing out at you like that." I step close to where she stood in her silk gown.

"We both lashed out." She said softly.

"You make me bipolar."

"No, I don't. You're just bipolar, period!" She laughed and I loved the sound of that.

"At least one of us is sane, I wouldn't want our kid taking after me." I said out of the blue making Leona clear her throat. I didn't realize, I had-

Woah!

I really said that.

Actually thought about-

"There won't be any kid so don't worry about that." She said turning to walk away but I immediately pulled her back against my chest. I knew she wasn't expecting that so when it happened she flinched.

"Are you sure about?" I questioned, she figured I was joking and let out a laugh. She just loved pushing me and the thought of us away. I suppose she did this as not to raise her hopes up.

"Yes, now let me go wake up the twins." She giggled when I lifted her body off the ground and laid her on back on the bed with me hovering on top.

"Well, I could just give you a kid right here... right now."

This made her laugh.

"No no no, can you stop-"

I sealed her lips with a kiss.

She tried pushing me away until she softened into my embrace and we started moving in synch. It was just getting good until we both heard some annoying light knocking on the door.

"CEREAL-" the little buggers yelled. I still wouldn't get off Leona. "TANTY LENA-"

"Tell them we're making them a little cousin to play with.." I said making Leona genuinely smile.

"You wish! Get off." She said and I hesitantly got off her. As she walked away, I just knew I was lying to myself if I thought Debby was everything I ever wanted in a soulmate.

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