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   Chapter 45 Life is really ironic

Under the Sakura By Elria Cortez Characters: 10904

Updated: 2018-12-08 14:05


Three weeks before Sachie's due date, Yousuke decided to go to Europe. Even though he sent an email to Kaname, he never returned to Tokyo even once. Although he replied that he will find time to visit but he never came back.

Yousuke wanted to see him, too. Kaname has been gone for a long time.

His illness has been progressing really fast, and although he promised to Hiro that he will undergo a surgery, he would not dare have the surgery before Sachie gives birth. He has to see her give birth, alive.

When he arrived in Paris, Kaname was still on a meeting. Since Kaname's PA knew him, he was led into Kaname's office and was told to relax there and wait.

He glanced around his office. As usual, the room is neat. It only has a wall clock and a frame of 7 horses. When he walked towards Kaname's desk, he saw a picture frame on it.

Yousuke smiled when he saw the picture.

It was the picture of them when they graduated from the university.

Kaname still has it, he thought.

Well, he also has his own copy, and it was also on his desk at his office, and at his room when he was still living with his parents.

Yousuke took the picture frame, and with his one hand, he gently touched the photo. It was those times that he fell in love for the first time. It was the time that he knew and acknowledged who he was.

He hastily returned the frame when he heard footsteps from the outside and casually walked towards the window.

"Yousuke!" Kaname's surprise voice sounded like the old days in his ears, when they were all stupid and carefree.

Well, Hiro has never been carefree even those times.

He turned around and saw Kaname.

Kaname walked towards him, still the same face, the same built, and the same aura.

Yousuke kept his face blank, and his hands on his pockets. He has been doing it for almost every day in the past 18 years, and he had become an expert pretender. He has been pretending for almost half of his life.

"You should have emailed me that you were coming, man." Kaname smiled earnestly and offered his closed fist at him, which he answered with his own closed fist as well.

Yousuke gave him a disappointed look.

"I was 50% sure that you might run away to other country again once you knew that I'm coming, " He said in a joking manner, but half of it was the truth.

Since Kaname did not come back to even visit Sachie, he was hesitant that he would meet him once he told him that he's coming. It's better to come and face him personally un announced.

Kaname chuckled at him, and motioned for him to sit down. They sat on the opposite sofa, facing each other. Kaname's PA entered, with black tea and a slice of cake, he respectfully placed it on the table between the two men. Then, as silently as he entered, he also exited soundlessly.

"Hey, that's mean. I never ran away from you." Kaname responded.

He felt good to see Yousuke in good condition, but for some reason, Yousuke looked tired. And he obviously lost weight.

Must be the long travel, he mused. And of course, worrying about Sachie's condition.

"Really, " Yousuke raised one eyebrow, and sipped on the tea. His eyes rounded a little at the delicious taste of the tea. "It's been months since I told you to come and visit us but you never once showed yourself. Hiro was also disappointed with you, he said that once he got the time to travel here, he will drag you back to Japan."

Kaname laughed, and Yousuke did as well.

After their laughter died down, an awkward silence enveloped them.

Kaname cleared his throat, and was the first one to speak.

"So, how is everyone there?"

Kaname never told Yousuke nor Hiro that he did came back to Tokyo, three times already. But he never showed his face to them. The first time was when he received the email from Yousuke, he immediately booked for a 3-day stay in Tokyo. He rented a car and spent his time just watching Sachie. Although he never saw her go out of the house on the first day, he saw her on the second and the third day.

That was when he learned that Andrea and Yukio came back to Tokyo. He felt glad when he saw her went out to the garden with Andrea. She was wearing a one piece maternity dress that looked good on her, but she was clearly having a difficulty with her pregnancy. From her face, he could tell that she has lost weight and that the pregnancy was putting a strain on her body. For those two days, she was always placing both of her hands on her hips or her back in a massaging manner.

He would have wanted to go down and embrace her, and ease her soreness even for a little while. But he knew that she must have been angry and disappointed with him. It was the reason that she fainted anyway. Because he admitted his feelings to her, and made her confused on her own feelings.

If only he knew that his admission would cause her great suffering, he would have kept his feelings inside forever. He didn't have the heart to show his face to her anymore. He went back to Europe without even saying hi to her or to his two best friends.

After that, he came back to Tokyo twice, and it was the same routine. He never showed his face to any of his acquaintance, nor to Hiro and Yousuke. When he was not in his own house, he was just inside the car, watching Sachie from afar.

It was the first time that he realized that aside from Hiro and Yousuke, he would find somebody more worthy of his time and effort.

Yousuke looked at him with a sad expression.

"I won't take the long route Kaname. I came here to take you back to Tokyo. Please come with me, Sachie misses you so much. She would give birth in three-week time. She needs you."

Kaname was stunned by Yousuke's words.

"Yousuke, you are her husband. The one she needs is you, not me." He said, his tone a notch higher than his normal calm voice.

"But you are the one she loves, not me." Yousuke answered, and Kaname was lost for words.

What is he saying? Surely, Sachie should have been able to move on over those months that he hasn't showed himself to her.

"Sachie never once returned my kisses to her, after you went. She has never tried to love me, not like the way she was trying before. It's like she has changed, since you left." Yousuke watched his expression intently, and saw the flashes of different emotions on Kaname's face.

He was not mistaken. Kaname still loves Sachie.

Kaname raked his hand on his hair, and looked in confusion to Yousuke.

"My presence would just make your relationship worse, Yousuke. I don't want to cause any more trouble for you and for her."

Yousuke finished his tea, and looked at his watch.

"It's alright Kaname. You don't have to answer now because I know that you are busy. I will stay here in Paris for four days, then we will go back together." He stood up, and Kaname stood also, throwing his a questioning look.

Yousuke grinned at him.

"Hiro has asked me to take you back, by hook or by crook. Your plane ticket has been reserved, same flight with mine."

"What?" Kaname was aghast, "that was so…tricky." He said, shaking his head.

He knew that all of these are Hiro's idea. He has always been the most domineering and forceful among the three of them. He sighed, it seems like they spoiled Hiro too much, letting him do all these. But he smiled, he surely miss their company.

Yousuke already reached the doorknob when he turned around.

"By the way, I will stay in your place. I left my luggage on the reception. For now, I will just go around the city. I will come back around 5:30 or so, then you will have to buy me dinner."

Kaname just nodded while smiling.

Yousuke left his office, and upon closing the door, a smile played across his lips.

----

Meanwhile, Sachie was spending her days inside their balcony, she has learned how to knit from Ivy's patient instruction. Since she has started, she was able to make lots of neck warmer and scarfs. Last New Year, she has given the three children of Hiro and Ivy their own neck warmers, as well as the other adults. Then for Andrea and Ivy, she has given them scarves. Now, she is looking at the neck warmer that she has just finished.

It was for Kaname.

A somber expression crossed her face when she thought about him. When she heard him finally admitted that he loves her, she felt ecstatic. It was her long-term wish, to be loved by him.

Yes, to be loved by Kaname was one of her dreams, since she was in high school.

But it didn't mean that she will abandon her other wishes just for one, or so she thought. She wanted her own family, a stable family that he didn't seem to be serious about.

Yousuke was the perfect man, and it's not like she didn't like him at all. She liked Yousuke's personality, and his character was not hard to fall for. She knew that if given some chance, she will fall in love with him, or so she thought.

But that night that Kaname told her that he loves her, all her thoughts proved to be wrong.

She wanted his love so much that she was willing to let go of her other wishes.

She loves him so much that she realized that no matter how hard she tried to love Yousuke, she could never love him the way she did with Kaname.

But she is carrying Yousuke's child in her womb. She has given him her body. Kaname might not worry about those things, but she does.

And that was the reason her heart was almost torn to pieces. Those realizations were so hard to accept that she fainted before she knew it. The moment she woke up, Kaname was gone.

She felt devastated. She knew that he went away so she can have a peaceful life with Yousuke. In the end, it was her selfishness that torn him away from her.

She wanted Kaname, but was not prepared to accept his wayward ways and insisted on the ideal character of Yousuke. She loves him, but she was too afraid that if Kaname found out that being pregnant would mean that her life would be at risk, he might not want to marry her. She was too focused on making all her dreams come true, that she failed to realize the one most important truth.

To be loved by the person you love should have been the number one on her bucket list.

She was so stupid, so foolish, and so greedy.

The only way to redeem herself and to atone for her sins would be to give birth to this child, and if her life would be taken away with his birth, then she would gladly perish. Because she has caused too much sufferings for Yousuke, too. At least when she's gone, Yousuke would have the baby. A baby boy, who will be her legacy that she has tried so much to gain and has sacrificed her heart for.

Not realizing that she was weeping in solitude, Sachie smiled bitterly.

Life is really ironic.

If she has just been honest from the beginning and pursued her one dream, she didn't have to lose her moon from chasing so many stars at the same time.

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