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Born to be a slave. By SBany Characters: 8337

Updated: 2018-08-09 14:09

I was left by myself the rest of the day. Edmund have told me to spend my time, how I wished to, I could do whatever I liked - this idea was hard to grasp. I have never been gifted with such freedom in my life.

Why Edmund is treating me this way? I wish I could know his motives for the decisions he makes in concerns of me.

As he have told me to be careful around Maria, I have managed to avoid her today completely. I have a feeling, Maria is not a person, she appears to be. My Master have given these warning for a reason. I believe, he have spent many years around her, knows her personality and traits hidden to a stranger. I wouldn't want to get on her bad side.

I make my way to a garden. No one is in sight – a perfect place to be by myself, away from the constant conflicts and tension surrounding this land. I have got used to the quiet nature of this part of Wiltshire's property. A lady of the house have been gone for a while as well as Edmund's father. Without any of the owners, sometimes it felt abandoned. Servants doing their daily jobs was the only indication of the life present. Now the house have regained it's liveliness and bubbling spirit, but at what cost. No one is happy here.

A day is sunny like all the others this week. Water in the shallow pond in front of me shimmers and tempts me to step in it. It looks refreshing. I want to bask my feet in the warm pond, but this childish act will make my dress wet, sand will cling to my feet and Edmund will be commenting my looks again. He will say 'you are dirty'. These words have always bothered me, but I knew they were not meant to offend me. When Edmund's phrase came out of Maria's lips, I felt like a needle was stabbed in my heart. It hurt. She laughed about me and found it funny. It wasn't the same feeling, when I received the same remark from my Master.

As I look up in to the sky, I see the upper floors. The white stone walls and carvings warms up the inner part of the garden with it's reflected light. One window is wide opened. It must be Edmund's doing. He likes the calmness and breeze, that late summer wind gives. My gaze travels along the walls and I see another window and then another widely opened. My Master have taken his habit to extreme today.

It brings smile to my face thinking about his carefree behavior, the way he manages and tries to release himself of build up frustrations. I can see his face in my mind, looking in to distance, thinking something only he himself know

as it so amusing to watch me being frightened? It is not my fault, I have had so little experience and interaction with boys.... men. I have been kept here, isolated from people and world outside. Can I be blamed for my timidness in situations like this? I feel little bit ashamed of myself. A woman my age should already be married. I am so far behind everything....

Edmund moves slightly. I see his face turning away from the 'captivating' ceiling and then his eyes have slowly found a way to mine. What is he planning to do? Edmund scoops closer, the same way, like before. He watches me and watches... .

All of a sudden I realize, that a ceiling is a rather interesting place to look at. I can't bare a sight of his intense stare.

"Maria... She said she wants to find a man for you..."

Why is he talking about this all of a sudden?

"Do you want... to get ... married? Do you want family, children, a home of your own?"

I have always wanted all these things. To have a normal life, like those of other people.

"Yes. I want to have it."

I felt his stare burning a hole in my scull, even though I didn't see his eyes. The silence in this room felt heavy and deafening. Edmund said nothing for a long time.

"You will never have a husband, never have children and never have a family."

"W...why?" I felt like crying.

"Because I won't allow you to have all these things."

Edmund eyed me for another moment and then climbed out of the bed, taking a route to his bathroom. A door of it was shut tight.

Why Edmund is doing this to me?

He gives me everything, but what I need the most, he have chosen to never allow me to have.

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