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   Chapter 8 No.8

Love Lost By Lady Lilium Characters: 5067

Updated: 2018-07-13 12:04

The rest of that day went by as usual, and Haru kept an eye out for Aubrey and his friends, but he did not see them. He sat alone at lunchtime simply watching the scene around him, then when classes were over, he went straight to his dormitory, glancing about him as he went in case Aubrey was around, but he wasn't.

Haru went to his dormitory, closing the door after him and turning to face the small room. It was empty, his roommate had still not arrived.

Haru put his bag down on the floor beside his bed, moving over towards the window and leaning forwards on the sill, staring.

The grounds were beautiful, with the setting sun off in the distance casting is orange glow upon the land, everything was lit with a gold lining.

Haru let out a sigh, tilting his head as he smiled.

Despite his difficulties, his fears and the constant feeling of anxiety he felt when he was here, he felt a strange sensation of joy.

He blinked slowly, staring with eyes out of focus at all that was before him, through the window to the big wide world beyond.

'What a beautiful world we live in….'

Several days passed in which he did not see Aubrey or any of the others, and things began to get difficult for him.

On the way to one of his lessons, one of the boys waved to him, but his smile was not a friendly one.

'Hey rich kid!'

'Hu?' Haru baulked.

'Yeah I'm talking to you' the boy said as he walked past him with his friends.

They all smirked at him as they went on, turning away and sniggering amongst themselves.

Haru watched them cautiously with wide eyes as they went away.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, hands going to his chest as he began to clutch at his heart.

He bowed his head, gritting his teeth, forcing himself to stay calm as anxiety threatened to overwhelm him.

Keep calm keep calm. He often followed this mantra on his worse days. As he straightened up again, arms dropping to his sides, his left hand twitched, and he felt a great need suddenly.

He let out a breath, turning his head to the side and pushing the thought away.

He begun to feel lost again.

Haru raised his head, straightening his body and staring down the corridor.

It was later that day during PE, that he was playing a game of rounders with his class.

He hated it. He remembered when he was younger playing rounders with his mother and some of the gardeners in his home. It had always been a lot of fun, and they had all smiled and laughed together, sitting down to rest afterwards to have

drinks together. It was enjoyable, relaxing.

This is not like that Haru thought miserably to himself, standing at the edge of the game as a fielder. For a long time, he had stood there doing nothing. At first, he had tried to keep attention to the game, but after a while of nothing happening, his attention began to drift.

He stood there lacklustre, his mind in another place entirely, somewhere it was more beautiful.

As he stared at the ground a short distance away, his eyes began to water and a tear trickled down his cheek.

He bowed his head, wiping his eyes slowly with the back of his hand and gritting his teeth, angry at himself.

'Dammit…' he hissed.


Haru glanced up suddenly, seeing the ball shoot over his head.

'Get the dam ball!' one of the boys hollered.

Haru began to panic, turning and running in the direction of the ball.

He reached it too late, grabbing it and throwing it back to one of the boys on his team. He stood there uncertainly as several began to complain loudly at him, not knowing what he had done wrong.

'Haru what are you doing?!'

'I…I-I'm sorry!' Haru called nervously back.

One of them began to berate him, but he couldn't hear what the boy was saying.

Haru's chest began to feel tight, and he clutched at his heart, beginning to breath rapidly.

He was suddenly unware of anything going on around him as he bowed his head again, blocking out the rest of the world from his mind.

He began to tremble as his breathing became more pained, his gasps deeper as he began to hyperventilate. His vision clouded over, and he sunk to his knees, body hunched.

'He's having a panic attack!' someone called, as the teacher ran over to him.

The teacher knelt beside him, hand on his shoulder and speaking calmly into Haru's ear, telling him to control his breathing, his words spoken firmly but gently.

But Haru did not hear him, that was when the teacher put Haru's arm over his shoulders, lifting him to his feet and walking away supporting him.

Haru was taken to see the nurse, where he was eventually able to calm down.

He sat in the quiet room with the nurse before him. She was kind, and through her kind words, Haru was able to control himself.

'Do you feel better now?' she asked him softly after a time.

Haru glanced up at her, his eyes red. The box of tissues sat on his lap, several tissues clutched in his hand.

'I'm sorry' he whispered, not trusting his voice to speak, 'I hate being so weak all the time.'

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