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   Chapter 53 believe me.

Grieving Hearts By Ricky Donna Characters: 13540

Updated: 2018-07-14 16:32


Onika's POV......

We got into the car and I saw Agustin signal Kane and few of his other bodyguards to follow us in another car.

I was looking out of the car window, lost in my own thoughts when Agustin cleared his throat, gaining my attention.

Whenever he does that it means he is looking for ways to initiate a conversation, so I looked at him, waiting for him to say something.

"Do you believe in God?" He asked, his eyes still trained on the road forward, as if afraid to make any eye contact.

Where did that come from, I wonder. What is going in his head these days.

"You already know, I do." I said, masking my surprise.

"No, I mean do you still believe in God?" He put emphasis on the word still.

"Why won't I? Just because a certain person decides not to be human anymore is hardly any reason to blame god for it, though to tell you the truth there was a times when I did blame god for everything, but I am more mature that that now, I know better. You own the mistakes you did, I own the wrong decisions I made, I don't see where did god came in between." I replied emotionlessly.

"Okay...."he simply said looking at me just for a fraction of second before he again set his eyes infront of him "If I remember right, you also used to believe everyone deserves a second chance, you still believe that or has that changed." He asked, in a controlled voice.

I took a shaky breath and said, " that depends, I won't generalise such a thing anymore, if you haven't been in the shoes of the victim, you have no right to generalise such a thing, is what I believe now." I answered back.

"Depends on what?" He enquired, gulping the saliva down his throat, his voiced not that controlled anymore, this time his eyes locked to mine.

"Depends on the offence done, more importantly depends on the person that did the offence, if it weren't you, maybe......" I trailed off, not knowing how to complete the sentence without hurting him further.

A pained expression took over his features, he averted his gaze to focus on the road infront of him, without saying anything. Pretending as if everything is back to normal.

But I could sense the change in his demeanor, he was still as a statue, I was sure he was holding his breath, not even blinking..maybe trying to hold his tears back, the only sign of movement was his tightening grip on the steering wheel, enough to cease the blood supply.

His emotions where all over the place, radiating off him, making me want to stop him hurting like this. Maybe I should, he have had enough, he is trying to change, I need to get over my bitterness, if not for him then for myself, the guilt I feel afterwards is not worth it, but it's not like I do it intentionally, he asked a question and I just answered truthfully.

A huge mansion came in view as the car neared giant iron gates. When we entered several of eyes were on us, I felt Agustin's hand holding me in a possessive grip.

"I am just your PA remember?" I said, hinting him to let go off my hand, he seemed to ignore it and just continued walking.

I scanned the area to see few similar faces, while most of them being unfamiliar. A smile tugged on my lips as my eyes landed on Jacob, he was talking to someone, he hasn't seen me yet.

My attention was diverted as I saw Mr. Griggs approaching us immidiatly to welcome us and alone with him was a man, I have not seen before, in his mid thirties, his eyes scanning me up and down...in a creepy way, causing a shiver of disgust to ran down my spine.

"Mr. Deluca...what a pleasure" he said, extending his hand towards Agustin.

"Mr. Lockhart" Agustin acknowledged with a curt nod.

Meanwhile Mr. Griggs joined in the conversion as well.

"Who is this beautiful lady with you." This was from Mr. Lockhart, his eyes boring into mine, making me uncomfortable for some reason.

" My wi...I mean my PA, Onika Coulin." The Coulin part was barely audible.

Mr. Lockhart extended his hand for me to shake, I did.

His hand squeezed mine in a tight grip, holding

years back when I needed him the most.

Now he is too late for this and the wall I have created between us will always remain....the bitterness will always linger between the two of us, it has become a part of who we are, or at least a part of who I am. That is the brutal truth Agustin needs to accept.

It has become as instinctive as breathing, and it won't just go away no matter how hard he tries or how hard ...I try. Because God knows I have tried and I have tried hard, but You don't just get over something like what Agustin had made me go through, and it's not just about getting over those terrifying tortures, it would have been easier if it was just that, but it's more about getting over the fact that he was the one to inflict those tortures. If it was someone else, it would have been easier, a lot more easier.

Laying yourself completely bare, vulnerable and defenceless infront of someone needs more courage than keeping your guards high or keeping yourself detached and isolated, because you know you might be risking everything...every single thing, but I mustered the courage I never had, to do that for Agustin and in that process I gave him everything I had to offer, my body, mind, soul.......everything, being betrayed by that very person who was supposed to be your safe haven, for whom you risked your every damn single thing is something I can't get over until my last breath.

But I won't lie, I can't help but feel overwhelmed that he believed me; respected what I want and called the cops, instead of killing him, and above all he chose me.

*********************

Phew! So a big Chapter as promised.

I am reaching insanity, I think. I have a very important presentation tomorrow, but I am rather working on this Chapter from past three hours, I am doomed(??)...so you guys better love me for this...hehehe.

And a reader has told me that reading Onika's entries is getting a bit boring.... well, that may be true, but as I am the writer I can't exactly judge that, because obviously I can connect to the chapter so only I am writing it.

I really have to put efforts to come up with a new chapter, so its a bit disheartening to hear that, but if you guys aren't enjoining the chapters there is no use of it and of course you guys are free to share your views with me, whether you like the chapter or not, no hard feelings, so I was thinking to cut short Onika's entries and finish it fast, like in 8-10 more entries.

Please, don't forget to VOTE, COMMENT AND SHARE....:)

And also I am having my annual exams in a month, so I am not promising regular updates for a while, hope you all will understand. ??

Love you all

Until next.

Ricky ??

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