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   Chapter 33 yes or no (part 2)

Grieving Hearts By Ricky Donna Characters: 8442

Updated: 2018-07-14 09:20


Onika's POV........

Do I still love Agustin?

Do I still love Agustin?

Do I still love Agustin? I keep on chanting his words before I can completely process it.

Shouldn't I straight away say that I don't? Isn't that what I told myself again and again over two years. Then why is it so hard to push the world out of my mouth. It was as if I can hear it, analyse it but my brain was refusing to answer it and my heart started beating on its own accord.

It isn't supposed to hurt so much admitting that I don't love him anymore. It should be easy. Then why is my chest constricting in unbearable amount of pain.

Why do I feel like my heart will break into million pieces if I accept that same thing out loud when I have been convincing that to myself ever since I had left Agustin.

Does it even matter? I will love him again he will crush my love again because I know he won't change then how does it matter whether I love him or not, after all it was never about me loving him. It was he who failed....

Loving him have only given me pain. I am better off without it.

Even if I somehow still have some feelings for him I can never go back to him. The damage he had created can't be repaired now.

Whenever I see his face all the torture scene starts revolving in my mind. Fear starts taking over my whole being. Even if he lift his hand in affection I flinch back in fear that he will hit me. How am I supposed to live with him like this. I can't spend my lifetime in fear like this.

This relationship is completely jeopardised. It is never going to work. It will again end up in disaster.

Anyways what is more important then loving him is Forgiving him.

People say love forgives it all, forgiving someone is an act of greatness, that would make you the better person.

Then why do I feel it would be an act of cowardice if I forgive Agustin. Forgiving Agustin is easy than fighting him will ever be. How I want to give in and get over it. My heart breaks everyday seeing Agustin suffer.

But Is it right to forgive it all?

Will you forgive a person who does what Agustin did to me to your sister or your mother?

I guess no you can't. Then why do you have to forgive the person when the torture is on you? Because you love that person? Huh? The same person who crushed your love beneath his very shoes without a second thought. Who didn't gave a shit before torturing you to death.

I couldn't even forgive my father for what he did to my mother and Agustin had done far more worse to me

valid because the person I loved is long dead. There was nothing left of him since the day he first called me a slut....he was dead then and there.. he was dead the moment he said I was nothing more than a fucktoy to him...since then I was just holding on to a dead relationship...."

A lone tear slipped from my eyes as I finally said that and an excruciating pain erupted from my heart. But I continued...

"I may be scared but I am not broken....I may be weak but not enough to give in.... I do still have some self respect left within me.

So please have a seat Jacob and do tell me what is this all about. Because I don't see how does it matter whether I love him or not. I will divorce him after 3 months and will be done with him." I said with confidence.

He took a deep breath and said. " This is where you are wrong."

That is what I and Agustin had negotiated then what does he mean by that? "How so?" I asked.

*************

Please Agustin fans don't kill me as this is not the end of the story. A lot is waiting for them and please try to understand Onika's view point as well ...it's hard for her to forgive and forget what Agustin had done to her.

Next chapter will be about jack and Agustin's face off...so get ready for a rollercoaster ride.????

The book has reached 69 rank!!!! Can't express how happy that makes me. My eyes literally popped out of my socket when I saw that. Never thought an amateur like me can reach so far, so thanks a lot to all my lovely readers for their support. You guys are The Best. ????

I am sorry I know the chapter is short. I will try to make the next one bigger.????

Lots of love.

Untill next.

Ricky??

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