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   Chapter 110 NO.110

MAFIA INDEBTED (Mafia Series 1) By NSH_SHAHEEN Characters: 28984

Updated: 2018-10-18 11:39


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The morning was nice and cool. The sky was overcast, a grey and white mixture of clouds all around.

Anissa sat on her prayer mat as she finished reciting her supplications. When she felt a cool breeze gently blow inside from her open window, Anissa decided to take Shehryaar out.

It had been a few days since Shehryaar woke up and those days were very unnerving for Anissa. Shehryaar would wake up and wouldn't say anything. Anissa did her usual routine with him all the while Shehryaar kept his eyes on her but didn't utter a single word. She tried to talk to him but he either ignored her or he was always in a daze.

She wondered what he was thinking about. She wanted to confront him. But his condition was delicate so she decided to leave him be.

But today was such a lovely day. Anissa didn't feel like being cooped up inside. She approached Shehryaar's room and found him standing by the window. He was able to walk thanks to the crutch he held that supported his weight on the right side.

"Asalam alaikum." Anissa greeted, trying to sound light and joyful as she strode towards Shehryaar.

His back was hunched slightly to the right as he supported his left arm to his chest. His muscles were taut and stiff on his back. He had shaved off the beard so Anissa could easily see his sharp jaw that was clenched tight. His eyes were staring into space.

"Shehryaar, " Anissa said in a soft whisper and gently touched his back. She could feel that he was so tense.

"Shehryaar?" She patted his back gently. His head jerked and he sucked in a deep breath. "Hmm?" He mused but didn't look at Anissa.

Anissa smiled softly at him and massaged his shoulder. "It's such a lovely day outside. Would you like to join me outside?" She inquired. Shehryaar sighed and began to walk in the direction of the door. Anissa was getting tired of him ignoring her all the time.

As they walked into the garden, Anissa helped him into the chair and went back inside to fetch some tea and biscuits. When she came back, he was relaxed in the chair and had his eyes closed. She saw the gentle breeze brush through his hair. His face looked contorted and twisted. She never saw him in peace.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked in a low whisper. Shehryaar heard her but didn't move and kept his eyes closed.

"Shehryaar?" She asked, tilting her head as she observed his face.

He let out a heavy exhale. "I'm thinking, " his eyes snapped open and fixed his gaze on Anissa. "Why am I here? Why am I alive?" She was puzzled by his musings. It was astonishing that he not only thought of answering her but also looked at her.

She couldn't believe that she missed his attention.

"Why am I here Anissa? Why am I alive? Why didn't you kill me?" He asked, his voice a low mutter yet full of confusion. Anissa avoided his eyes, for they were full of so much pain.

She swallowed hard against her fry throat. She took her sip of her tea and sighed. "You're alive because, " she mumbled. "Because I don't want you dead." She replied. She felt his intense gaze on her face. Her cheeks flooded crimson as she felt self conscious but she fought against it. Now was the time for her to finally face her greatest fear.

"Shehryaar, " she started and placed her cup back on the coffee table. "I know that you wanted me to end your life that day. But I will never do that. I can never claim a life. You know that." She said as she looked at him straight in the eye.

"You are so selfish." She murmured, taking Shehryaar off guard as he frowned at her in confusion.

"You wanted to die. You said that it was so you could set me free." She said. "It was never about me. It was always about you." She claimed stoically. "You finally gave up that's why you wanted me to kill you. You didn't want me to have revenge. It was a simple gamble: you realised that I could never forgive you or love you and you knew that you could never let me go. That's why, you knew that we both would be miserable. You just wanted to end your own misery. You had no regard for what I wanted or how I felt. In the end, all that you did was for yourself." She stated firmly.

Shehryaar's jaw clenched.

"You're wrong. When I said that I didn't want to be hated by you anymore, I meant it." He said, but he didn't negate everything.

Anissa was silent for a few piognant seconds. "Then, why did you give up?"

Shehryaar's brows furrowed. "Give up? On what?"

"You know exactly what. Don't feign ignorance." Anissa retorted. Shehryaar inhaled deeply and relaxed into his seat as he leaned back. He squeezed his eyes shut, his face looking up at the clear evening sky.

"I gave up because....., " he started. "When you realise that you truly don't have anything to live for.....then what is life? At that moment, I had everything that should matter except..... I didn't have the one thing that I wanted with my entire heart and soul..... I wanted you and your love." He admitted in a soft murmur. "But i knew that could never happen. That's why, I thought, I needed to give you the one thing that would clear your heart and mind: the right to kill me and take your vengeance. I didn't give up on myself rather I gave up on you.....and just that, had me wishing for death. Because once I gave up on you, I knew that I would not live. That's why, I chose to die at your hands."

And he told the truth. Anissa recognised it but she also knew that it was the half truth.

"But that isn't all? Isn't it?" She challenged. "Another reason, is that..... I've hurt you a lot from my betrayal. And I've completely lost your trust. That's why you gave up. Because you couldn't take the emotional toll of it all." She stated.

Shehryaar didn't respond and chose to stay silent.

"You just wanted to escape from the pain." She mumbled. "I've hurt you. I broke your heart. And you couldn't take that pain anymore." Anissa said, her head bowing in shame. She didn't hide her remorse as she looked at him.

"Do you remember:I had asked you that If I ever hurt you like the way that you hurt me, if I ever broke you like the way that you broke me, would you accept me if I just admit that I made a mistake in hurting you? And you said that yes, you would because...." she paused, not able to say anything further.

Shehryaar didn't look at her. He knew exactly what was said then. But he never knew that it would actually come to pass. He felt so defeated. He didn't feel like staying in Anissa's company anymore so he carefully stood up and went back inside. Anissa sighed and combed her fingers through her hair. She knew that confronting him wouldn't be easy but it needed to be done.

She followed him inside and found him staggering towards his room. She found it strange that he didn't go to their bedroom.

"Shehryaar!" Anissa called loudly. Shehryaar stopped dead in his tracks but didn't turn around to face her.

"We aren't done yet."

"I'm tired." He said and began to stagger back into his room. Anissa followed suit. She saw him sitting on the bed. He was stretching his right hand, apparent discomfort visible on his face. Anissa took his hand into hers. Shehryaar was taken aback as he froze in place.

"Shehryaar-"

"What do you want Anissa?" He snapped, turning his head around and facing her. Anissa flinched and felt shivers run down her spin.

"Why are you still here?" He inquired, his voice cold and detached. "Shouldn't you have disappeared that even if you spared me, I wouldn't be able to find you."

Anissa blinked a few times. He was putting her in a bind but she needed to answer him. "Trust me, I wanted to run away. I wanted to get away. But something in me, stopped me." She murmured. Shehryaar was silent as he watched Anissa. She sighed and sat beside him.

"You see: we are both flawed: you in terms of your mind, me in terms of my heart. There are some things that we are forced to do whether we like it or not, accept it or simply because we believe that it would give us something: perhaps peace of mind. Satisfaction, contentment, you name it." Anissa spoke, her words running deep.

"At that moment, A part of me wanted so badly to get away from you. I had so many doubts: even though I had said that I had forgiven you, but it was more easier said then done. You were down. You were completely at my mercy. But, " she stopped as she looked into Shehryaar grey eyes.

"But my conscience stopped me. Because I already had what I wanted but it didn't give me what I needed. And it wouldn't have been fair."

Shehryaar was lis

y, his eyes hardening.

"Just answer the question." She urged.

Without warning, he combed his fingers through her hair and yanked her face towards him, their noses touching, their breath mingling. Chest to chest, Anissa feared that she might hurt him but one look in his eyes had all the concern flying out the window.

His steely grey eyes were livid while her hazel eyes were inquisitive.

"Yes, I will hurt you." He growled against her lips.

She gently cups his face and smiled.

"No, I know you won't. Because you have never lied to me. So I can clearly see it in your eyes. You're lying to me right now." She claimed. Shehryaar scoffed and released her hair.

"Then why do you fucking ask?" He didn't negate what she said.

"Because..... I want you to admit it. You believe that you will hurt me. I don't know why when I can clearly see that you don't want to. So many times I saw it. You fought with yourself, to stop yourself from hurting me. I know."

He's silent as his eyes soften and he sighs, gently cupping her jaw with his good hand.

"You win." He sounded so defeated. It was the same when he witnessed her betrayal. Again, she saw him crumble and break apart.

"You've managed to successfully destroy me. You've taken everything from me. My pride, my cold heartedness and perhaps even my cruelty towards you. Is this what you wanted? For me to embrace the two things that I loathed the most: weakness and vulnerability?" He almost sounded broken.

Anissa licked her lips and squeezed her eyes shut. She hated seeing him like this.

"Will you hurt me ever again?" She urged yet again.

Shehryaar looked at her. Her eyes were closed. He could see that she wanted to desperately know. She wanted to figure him out. She was actually making an effort. For both Of them.

Shehryaar gently squeezed her cheek, prompting her to open her eyes. When she graced him with her beautiful angelic eyes, Shehryaar felt his heart flutter. He gave her a slight lope sided smile that had Anissa's breath hitching in her throat.

"How can I possibly hurt you? When I know that I am incapable of ever hurting you and you are incapable of ever getting hurt." He choked out, feeling his throat get lodged by a lump. His smouldering grey orbs stared at her, the grey of his irises changing to a soft dark teal.

"You are my only weakness and hurting you, will not only hurt me, it would kill me." He confessed.

Anissa was silent but she felt so overwhelmed. And the answer became clear.

"The only reason I hurt you was to make you witness the real me. It was to make you see me for who I am, right from the start. I can't say and I can never promise that i will not hurt you because if you decide to live with me, and be by my side, there will be times when you would hate me because I would hurt you. Because when I give in to my anger, I lose control and sight of what I am doing." He said and leaned his head back, avoiding her eyes.

"I know." Anissa concurred.

"Then? Where does that leave us?" He asked.

"Together." Anissa replied instantly. "By each other's side." She said.

She saw his Adam's Apple bob up and down. Anissa carefully pulled his head up and squeezed his jaw.

"Do you remember what you said to me on our wedding day?" She asked as she gently combed her fingers through his hair. He relaxed under her tender touch.

He opened his eyes and looked at her with confused yet pleading eyes.

"You said that I'm finally yours forever." She mutters, close to his lips. "And just like that, you are mine as well. Mine forever." She murmured, her words full of promise.

"I won't let you go." She brushed her lips against his. Shehryaar enjoyed the feel of her sweet lips against his. "I've forgiven you. In time, I will overcome my fear and doubts about you and inshaa Allah, I will fall in love with you."She claimed and brushed her lips upon his dried ones, feeling his rough stubble on her palms.

Abruptly, Anissa let him go and looked at him with a hard and stern look, her delicate features becoming solemn.

"I'm calling in my debt. From now on, I want my payment in full." She declared. Shehryaar's brows furrowed in confusion. "I want my payment through your attention, devotion, loyalty and your heart." Anissa pronounced.

She didn't use the word love: because she didn't know what love was. At least not the love she would feel for him one day.

His body was hers, his mind was hers and soon, his heart and soul would once again belong to her. She knew that she had broken his heart but she would fix it.

And she would make sure to have him completely in her control. He would be her life's greatest achievement. Something that she wanted to be proud of.

And who knew, her heart might grow soft and even she might come to see him in a different light.

She placed her hand on his heart. "I know that you gave it to me but I was a cruel wretch and broke it. But, never again." She vowed as she saw his face soften. "One day, we can be what we were to each other; You'll be my Shehry and I'll be your Tara."

"You are indebted to me. And you're going to stay indebted." She stated. "You're the Mafia. So you're my Mafia. My Mafia indebted." She said and gave him a wholehearted smile. Shehryaar felt as if his heart would explode. Her words stirred his dead feelings and he wanted to just push everything aside and believe in what she told him.

'You'll be my Mafia Indebted."

Shehryaar let out a soft smile as he pulled her into his chest. Anissa carefully embraced him, basking in his warmth.

That's all that was needed.

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Inshaa Allah; God willingly

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