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   Chapter 94 NO.94

MAFIA INDEBTED (Mafia Series 1) By NSH_SHAHEEN Characters: 9211

Updated: 2018-05-18 22:49


Shehryaar jerked into consciousness when he heard the sound of glass breaking. His head was pounding with a terrible headache, his neck ached from bending it back at an uncomfortable angel and his body was covered in cold sweat, his chest burnt with a searing pain.He realized that he was sitting in the armchair in the arm corner of the room. On instinct, his eyes darted towards the bed; his breath got caught in his throat, his slumber hazed mind cleared and his heart accelerated into overdrive and adrenaline pumped through his veins in high alert when he found the bed empty. His body became rigid and alert. He was sure that she was bound then how did she get out?

"Anissa?!" He yelled and jumped off of the chair, not caring that the laptop fell straight to the ground from his lap. When he saw the light of the bathroom on, he ran to it and turned the knob only to find it locked.

"Anissa?!" He banged on the door, his mind conjuring the worse of possibilities since Anissa was in such a fragile and unstable condition.

"Anissa?!"

His sound was completely blurred in the background as Anissa watched in fascination as the blood dripped out and ran down her knuckles and fell.

Her eyes went to the broken pieces of glass.

And an urge consumed her: an overbearing need to just end the pain.

She reached out and gripped a shard between her fingers.

"Anissa?!" The door was loudly banging. "Open the door! Open this fucking door right now!"

Anissa paid no heed.

Maybe.....if I just muster all my courage and just run it deeply through, it'll end everything. She thought as she placed the sharp edge of the shard of her wrist but her hand shook frantically.

Come on! Do it! She screamed at herself, her eyes stinging with bitter tears. But her whole body was shaking violently. Just do it and be done with it. Just end the pain. It'll be alright. She tried to calm down and closed her eyes as she breathed in and out deeply but nothing was working. Her heart was slamming against her sternum, causing her entire being to shake with fear and dread.

Don't do it Ainnie! The voice of reason echoed inside her head. She tried to block it out and pressed the shard to her wrist, hard enough to draw blood. Just slice it through! and it will be over.

You swore an oath to protect life.....including your own! It screamed. Fear God! He will never forgive you for this! Anissa's face twisted in pain as she opened her eyes and bitter tears rolled down her cheeks and fell on her bleeding wrist.

What God? Where was God when I was suffering so much? She challenged, her faithlessness on the limit.

Yes, it is easier to just give up. She would free that way.

But then again, no one is ever truly free, now are they?

Al

lity. What were you expecting once you had succeeded in killing yourself? Did you expect peace? But then again, didn't you expect that Allah would relieve you of your pain? How can you possibly expect that once you would've committed the greatest sin of all: the sin of claiming your own life, something you have no right to.

She didn't know where these thoughts were coming from, but she knew that if the the old Anissa, the wilful and strong woman, was calling out to her, then she was trying and crying out to this broken and weak Anissa to embrace her back. Because she was never really gone, she was always there: hiding away. But the monster of pain, doubt and disbelief had devoured her once again.

And that made the decision so much clearer. The old Anissa was gone, never to come back. And as long as this existing, weak and frail and pathetic excuse of a woman lived, all her life would be about pain and misery

Yes, I'm a coward. because I am weak. But It's okay. At least it will end the misery! The doubt was coaxing her, reinforcing her decision. I'm not afraid. Hell is nothing. I'll be fine.

Her resolve was in place and firmly cemented. Every blasphemous thought that doubt and disbelief could throw at her, did the damage.

I'm not a.....coward. She thought, her head hanging as the familiar feeling of shame and humiliation threatened to engulf her. But she fought it. She needed to be brave, one last time. I'm not afraid to die. And if taking my own life and ending up in hell is the result, then, I'd rather be in that hell then this one. She thought and proceeded to grab the shard once again, this time determined to do the deed through to the end.

Yes, I'd rather die then live another second in this life. She thought.

And indeed she had nothing to live for; No family, No love and No future.

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