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   Chapter 85 NO.85

MAFIA INDEBTED (Mafia Series 1) By NSH_SHAHEEN Characters: 15506

Updated: 2018-05-18 22:44


Things seemed so out of reach now.

Circumstances seemed to favor the impossible.

Happiness, a feeling he had only had a brief encounter of, now seemed so far away that it almost seemed impossible to grasp at.

Was this truly what he deserved?

He laughed to himself as he scratched the back of his head. If such thoughts had occurred to him when he was obsessed over breaking Anissa, he wouldn't laughed at himself for thinking such ridiculous things. He was that blind back then.

But now, slowly but surely, he was beginning to see the light. Because Just when things finally began to look good for him, and for once in his bleak and dark life, he felt a shred of happiness, it was but all taken from him. And he had no one to blame but himself.

Even now, he found it amazing that he could pin the blame on no one but himself. He had an insight and it astonished him. He never thought that a day would come when he would face the consequences of his own actions and take responsibility for it.

Then again, he also thought he would never have any regrets or any remorse.

But he did.

He regretted what he did and he was even remorseful: something he thought he would never be but apparent he was.

How many times she had said to him that he doesn't deserve anything good in his life. He realised that he was a despicable human being, but whatever he did, it was only because he was taught to be that way. Because he believed it to be the right thing to do.

How could he simply act different from himself? It would be too out of character for him. But isn't that change? To being about some positive aspects of difference.

So in order to change, he would have to understand and even if he didn't understand, the last option would be to pretend? But he had never pretended to be anything but himself especially towards Anissa.

He couldn't pretend even if he wanted to. It wasn't in his nature to be someone that he was not. He could lie and deceive many for his own selfish agendas but he could never lie or deceive Anissa. He had always been honest with her: it was a different matter that he decided to be cryptic and vague about his feelings and about certain truths. but for her, he could try. He would try to bring about some serious change in himself. And it wouldn't be a matter of whether he understood or not or whether he was taught or not, it's never too late to learn.

If Anissa thought that he was incapable of showing kindness then he would prove her wrong. If she thought him to be only selfish, then he will prove that he can care for someone other then himself.

It would be called being nice in Zameer's tongue. And he was capable of being nice.

As for empathy. Could he really do it? Feel empathy and act empathetic? How was he suppose to feel it. Of course he understood what that feeling was about. But could he really pull it off? Try and feel empathy and act on it?

Well, there was a start for everything.

Yes, I can do it. He thought to himself. And gazed outside the balcony. The sun had risen and was bright against the horizon, setting a beautiful image against the clear blue sea. The salty warm breeze swept over his face and a sense of relief washed over him.

It was always peaceful to be back to this place. It was his private island located a few kilometres off the coast of Gwadar. It had been a while since he came here. He usually came to this place when he wanted to relax. He always wanted to bring Anissa here but couldn't because of his busy schedule. But now, he had the perfect opportunity.

Zameer was taking care of things back in Pakistan and was also responsible for operations in Dubai and Shanghai because Zameer was the only man that Shehryaar could trust with his empire.

Shehryaar inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

So much has changed.

So much has happened.

And now, it was time for him to change.

He turned back and looked at Anissa's face. Even in sleep she wasn't at peace.

He thought that he knew the levels of hatred but unfortunately, Anissa knew even more. Since she had crossed so many limits and boundaries just to exhibit her hated towards him. He could never hope for his feelings to be reciprocated but he will convey his own. But before that, he would have to earn her trust and make her feel safe and secure with him.

It would be difficult but not impossible.

He would have to go against everything he believed in. He would have to go against himself and fight against himself. He knew now he could no longer be the same man. If he wanted to make Anissa whole again, patience wasn't going to the only thing: ch

to hold her hand and make her feel the sincerity of his words since she wasn't looking at him, but now he knew that he needed to tread carefully. Her mental health was at stake.

"Tell me, " she mumbled and closed her eyes. "can you restore a shattered piece of glass back to its original form?"

Shehryaar was stunned into silence. For once, he couldn't come up with an appropriate answer because she appeared so vulnerable and hopeless. She was completely shutting him out.

He sighed and rubbed his face.

"Now go away. I don't want anything from you." She hissed and looked away. Shehryaar clenched his jaw, the muscles ticking.

Calm down. Calm the fuck down. He mentally yelled at himself.

He had never been so blatantly disrespected or disregarded like this before. He was surprised that he hadn't acted out of impulse as of yet.

"You need to eat." He said through clenched teeth and picked up the fork with eggs once again. If she wasn't in such a delicate condition, he would've grabbed her by the throat and shoved the food down Her throat. But he could no longer do that. He needed to treat her with utmost care and delicacy.

"I said I don't want anything from you!" She screamed and slapped his hand away from her face, resulting in the fork flying out of Shehryaar's hand.

He immediately jumped to his feet.

Shehryaar began to quiver with anger as he slowly began to see red. His anger flared and threatened to burn. The need to hurt her became so dominant that it could've be contained. He felt an intense urge to smack her so hard that her teeth might rattle.

No! Stop! Calm yourself! He mentally yelled at himself.

Anissa waited for him to hit her. A minute passed, then two and then some more. All that she got was the sound of his ragged harsh breathing as he stood on top of her.

He counted down and breathed in deeply.

Calm yourself. Just stay the fuck calm. You need to be patient and change yourself. Remember you're doing this for her. And that thought alone helped to cool down the blazing flames of fury inside him.

His mind fought against it. It wasn't him. It wasn't in his nature to care for anyone other then himself. But his heart was ruling now and it welcomed Anissa wholeheartedly. He had promised himself to change and he was going to change.

His anger died down, the agitation still in place and he sat back to his original place. He bent down and got up and went to the bathroom to wash off the fork. He came back and perched beside her once again. Using a tissue paper; he wiped the fork dry. He picked up the plate in one hand and gathered some eggs in the fork.

Silently, he kept the fork up in air towards her mouth and waited.

He knew that she was hungry and wouldn't be able to resist for long.

And he was right when he heard her stomach growl and she sighed. She turned and accepted the fork into her mouth. Shehryaar kept a straight face, although he felt relieved that she finally gave in.

His anger was still present but now he knew that it'll take a lot of effort and hard work to win her back.

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