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   Chapter 26 NO.26

My High School Crush By vee0821 Characters: 10638

Updated: 2018-05-14 04:03


Gabe POV

- This chapter would contain Mental Illness/a suicidal event.

1. This is not a glorification: meaning I'm not trying to make it a romantic-comedy thing about this. Mental illness is not a joke!

2. I want you guys to see Gabe's perspective of him battling with depression due to his neglecting slash rejection relationship with his father

3. If you believe your loved one is at an immediate risk for suicide, do NOT leave the person alone. Please always look for the signs; if that doesn't help call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline for more information.

4. It may be tricky if you don't know what the person needs to recognize the signs of depression with your loved one but always remember that little things matter the most: talk to them, giving them reassurance, and try to ask them for help even though it is so hard to understand their point of view.

Lastly, if you're battling with depression or any other mental illness, I just want to say that you are loved, you are worthy, and you are beautiful. I know that you don't know me, but I just feel the need to say that in case if you're going through it.

Trust me, I know what it feels like to be unworthy, alone, and helpless.

You are not alone!! ??????

--

Just five days after my Spring Break with Jade has flown by in a speed of a lightning bolt. During the break, we still obviously went to the beach, did some shopping, went to see The Avengers: Infinity War, and went around to the park from time to time.

I was at my session at my group therapy appointment today at the David Lawrence center for an assignment on learning how to reconcile with my dad.

I've said it plenty of times in the session how I've always felt neglected and rejected in my life when it came to having a relationship with my dad.

I've always envied how my sister, Gloria always get all the love from him but I never had that sort of bond or any empathy since the day my mother passed away.

Since I was a child he always sees me differently. Like I'm a ghost or a non-existent being on this planet. When Gloria left to a boarding school up in New York, I was stuck with my alcoholic father all alone in the house.

I always did the cleaning, the cooking, making sure that I get home one time, and did the best I could get out from there.

Now, looking back, it makes me sad and angry. Sad when I think of all the pain I went through - the little boy I was that I just wanted to pick up and hug and love and be told that everything will be all right.

The little boy who just wanted reassurance and feeling like he deserves all the love he needs from his father.

That little boy happens to be me. A twenty-two-year-old man who is struggling with depression in hopes of getting a good relationship with his rejected father.

--

It was five in the afternoon and I was heading to the police department for an urgent appointment to talk with my dad.

Recently, I got an eviction notice in my apartment from my landlord. He told me that my father was the one who paid him to do it because I missed out on paying for my rent, even though I was already going to pay for it.

He did this to me not o

dilemma. I took a deep breath and confirmed the call, thrilled to talk with Jade.

Just hearing her voice calms me

"Hello?" I said.

"Hello?" A deep voice echoed through the phone. My smile immediately turns to a frown, knowing that this was not Jade on the phone.

"Who is this?"

"This is Jacob, Jade's brother."

"What happened?"

"Look, man, I don't know if you're busy but Jade just got into a car accident on the highway."

"Oh my gosh! Is she okay?"

"I don't know yet. I'm still waiting for the doctor. Her co-worker said that Jade left her phone in the diner when she gave it to me on campus. I'm so sorry to tell you this."

"Yeah, Okay."

"Well, I should get going but I'll give you an update later."

"Okay, " I whispered. The phone ended up and I stood there like a statue in front of the mirror. My lips were trembling and I felt a range of anger inside of me that made me wanted to shout.

But instead, I cried again. I was so frustrated, angry, confused all at once to why this keeps happening to me.

With force, I took off my bag and got my prescription painkillers out of the front zipper and took a chunk of pills down on my throat.

Within a split second, I felt dizzy, I was so unbalanced, trying to be steady from wobbling out from the door.

I was wobbling uncontrollably when a tall man asked me "Hey bud. Are you alright?"

I shake my head yes and felt a force bending backward on my body.

Suddenly, I fainted on the floor which caused everyone to panic, yelling "call 9-1-1" "is anyone around here a doctor!" "Please call help!"

The commotion faded away from my thoughts and time just stood still. All of my childhood and high school memories, the pain with my father, and my love with Jade begin to vanish drastically from my eyes. I begin to close my eyes slowly, trying to fight to open my eyes but couldn't handle my pain around my upper body.

It felt like I was battling with sleep paralysis, wanting to move but the pain made me numb.

Suddenly, everything else was around me was pitch black.

And before you know it, I couldn't hear anything.

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