MoboReader> Adeventure > Towards the Inner

   Chapter 4 The Trigger

Towards the Inner By Jerronime Characters: 21223

Updated: 2018-03-23 19:02


It was their second journey to the exotics in the last two winter months. The Caribbean has become their paradise for ten days. Just for the two of them – only for her and for Patrick – as this way it is the most beautiful, the most romantic, and full of love; just them, dedicating themselves to each other. This Caribbean holiday was for her rather a work matter as the Congress took place in the Dominican Republic and Naomi was invited by the multi-national advertising parent company, whose franchisee she owned. The Congress was convened in an exotic destination every year usually as an evaluation of the previous year. Since Naomi represented two branches, one in her Homeland and the other on the Island, she essentially had the right for two places, two participants free of charge. It was natural that Patrick was considered an obligatory part of any journey she took; since they had met, she did not travel alone anywhere, always only with him.

This time, he made a quite modest proposal whether his son could join them for this trip. A submissive, fearful, closed young university student with a good heart. He came as a part of a 2-in-1 package about a year and a half ago; when she had met Patrick. He was a part of their common space ever since.

Meeting Patrick always seemed like fate to her as if they had known each other in their past lives. Although she liked people and was always positive, loyal and socially-minded, after so many years of solitude, after five years of living without a partner, without a relationship – a serious, sustained one – this was a remarkable change.

She accepted it, though. She fell in love, and everything else became a part of it… Sure, sometimes she would prefer the "Honeymoon" and to be alone with her dearest one, just some sweet "doing nothing"… Sometimes it happened. But mostly it was mutual sharing of time and space.

Fortunately, Patrick's son no longer followed daddy into the bedroom for the "bedtime-stories"… Well, at least not every night.

She got used to the fact that he became a part of her life.

Therefore, she did not hesitate to answer.

"Of course, he comes with us if you wish so. At least, you'll have some company while I'm at the Congress."

Patrick smiled at her and kissed her. He was always more than happy to see his children being happy; to see that Naomi can take care, that she does the laundry and ironing, packs for them when they go travelling; can advise what to wear, cooks, and jokes with them. Yes, she did like humour; for her, it was the salt of life. She wouldn't have withstood all the pitfalls and "slaps" in her life, without humour and the ability to turn a serious situation around through sarcasm, satire or irony.

Neither Patrick nor his son sometimes really understood her. It took some time for them to understand her body language; to know that although her responses come with a straight face and monotone voice, yet the "comment" that comes through her lips, will be worth every dime.

And that was the way how they were enjoying their entire holiday; having breakfast together, time on the beach together. The only exception was those two days when while Naomi was at the Congress, then both guys went on tours of the city.

Otherwise, they spent every day together: lunch, dinner, sometimes hotel animation program, sometimes just hanging out in their room playing cards or reading. Every evening, Naomi prepared the clothes they should wear for dinner on their bed; the guys enjoyed this pampering very much, as neither of them had any particular relationship with fashion.

She had had two sessions with Daniel before the holiday and now observed the changes. Her perception of the world and of Patrick changed. She noticed how he was constantly monitoring the direction in which her eyes look; how he was hurrying over to her so that she does not accidentally meet another guy. She did not mind as she had no need to meet or to get to know any other guy. Her life and the only man in it was him – Patrick – and everything around them had turned into a grey fog. If she happened to communicate with another man, then it happened not because he was a man, but because he was a person who had or wanted some information, a joke, simply a communication flow. She was not concerned by that, but was aware of it; more and more. Patrick always calmed down when she was close when she touched him or held his hand. Otherwise, he was constantly on alert, nervous and restless; even though his beloved children were with him; even though they were together every minute, every second.

A fictive little goblin of strife was ready-steady to attack in all the growing and escalating tension. Perhaps it was due to the lack of sex, as because of the last minute change in their booking, the hotel had only one suite available – two-bedroom suite with an open space instead of doors in between; So, they were all together, in unison. On holiday.

But something was already hanging in the air. By some paradox, Naomi got along perfectly well with Patrick's son – he expressly required her company, enjoyed intellectual debates and "academic topics" along with her. She even dug out of him his secrets, with a hint of alcohol of course, such as his secret loves, flings, and his taste in girls…

His father was flying in the clouds; out of happiness… perhaps it was so.

Patrick had by his side a self-sufficient partner, who managed everything on their behalf, so they were just passengers enjoying the ride of reality that the holiday was. She thought about ten steps ahead. He felt the love from her; he had to feel it. It penetrated their skin, but it was only skin-deep. In the first stage of love; they felt desire, attraction, uniqueness… but obviously, they did not know what they would learn during those drastic moments of separation.

"Naomi, do you want a Pina Colada?"

"Bring one… How about we go to that awesome show Coco Bongo tonight?" asked Naomi.

"Whatever you say, " Patrick winked at her lovingly.

"Oh, there's one of the sellers coming. I'll buy the tickets?"

"Wait I'll buy them!" shouted Patrick from the sea.

"Let it be, I've got some cash with me, so I'll get them, and afterwards we settle up."

And so the tickets were purchased. Later on, at seven in the evening, they met with the other registered guests in the hotel lobby, to organise the transport to get them to the club. Naomi had bought VIP tickets as after so many years she had weaned herself off of adjusting to others. She did not like it.

But the guys did not seem to mind blending in with the crowd on the bus, and so she did not even try to bring up the idea of a private cab for the three of them.

She would have organised everything on her own. And that was another apparently "not very appropriate" characteristic of hers – being too independent. She had learned to take care of herself, her beloveds, her company, and her employees. Responsibility. Excessive responsibility, with which greater independence, sovereignty, self-sufficiency comes. Her life taught her not to need anyone – in terms of material world and the forms of security. However, after two years with Patrick, she brought that even to some level of extremeness. She bought everything herself, even for them. Her generosity knew no bounds when it came to gifts or flight tickets to anywhere anytime it occurred to her, daily food shopping, or tickets for cultural events when she felt the need to have a moment alone just the "two of them"… it did not phase her… but apparently, this way showed the other side that it was fine like this. Patrick had nothing to deal with in connection with her.

At the next quarrel, he criticised her about how little time she spends with them, how she flirted with guys during their first two "rendezvous". In return, she criticised him about how she has to take care of everything and how he does not buy her anything. These were the "fatal" conflicts that repeated in increasing frequency. Completely irrelevant, because they only did what they showed one another or allowed to – but afterwards they blamed each other and fought.

Their consciousness had not evolved as yet. They both felt that the relationship was strong, they felt love but did not know yet how to feel it thoroughly; they did not have the "know-how" to explain the phenomena which they were experiencing, the situations that were repeating on and on. At least Naomi did not understand; she did not get why she still felt both absolute proximity and completely repulsing forces at the same time. The flirting that happened a few times was nevertheless never supported by her interest in someone else, not at all! It was rather an effort to attract Patrick's attention, whenever she felt that Patrick is receding. Not a very appropriate way, but it is hard to think about what is right when one is in love and unable to explain certain circumstances – why and how they happen.

On the other hand, Patrick made very clear, time to time, that she does not belong to his family and that she should be grateful for her position in it and the status quo. They went shopping. The first brand store which they went into was just another slap in her face. Patrick with his son separated after entry, and both went their direction. Naomi, keeping her head held high, marched to another section. They all met at the cashier where they paid their bill, Naomi paid hers. What a pleasant feeling! Especially for someone, who had given such holidays (and much more) as a present to her partner and accepted his son to stay in the same hotel room.

Anyone who has ever been to the Dominican Republic and visited the Coco Bongo knows how extraordinary this experience is. An arena with bars all around, with lighting and fog effects, in fact, it was a disco show with a brilliant program. Dancers, singer-impersonators, incorporated acrobatic show, where it is all happening "all around", everywhere and nowhere, as if you are an interactive part of the show at all times. In the rungs on each floor of the arena, the local "Collectors" (not of taxes, but of performers) choose someone from the crowd – a hottie, a gentleman, a fat man, a couple, mismatched couple, absurdly dressed tourists – whoever to fill up the spot, to present themselves with dancing or some movement. And maybe they are presented with an interactive camera or maybe not. Simply, this interactive entertainment is fun, and the Coco Bongo show's signature.

Of course, one these Collectors came to Naomi, and of cou

rse, she marched to the spot reserved for dancers to perform. She felt Patrick's response behind her, about three meters back, who did not seem very amused. So she stopped in the middle of the song and went back to him.

"You were showing off. You simply had to, again. You always have to stand out; you just can't sit in one place like a normal person…" vented Patrick on their way home.

She could not handle it anymore, she could not believe – just an innocent dance during the show, above all, it belongs to the program, completes the overall effect, and ordinary participants compete and vie to have at least a few minutes, even seconds of dance on that prestigious half-meter spot.

That evening, they returned to their room in silence. Though, a very lively conversation was passing between Patrick and his son. But not with her. The more spontaneous, more alive the discussion between them was (or at least it appeared so), the more isolated and gloomier Naomi felt.

In the morning, when they woke up there was even not the simple "Good morning"! They were silent for the whole flight back from the Caribbean to Europe; they were silent on the way from the airport to home; they had been silent already for thirty-six hours.

An empty house welcomed them home. Naomi unpacked everything; put everything back in its place, put on the washing machine…, back to the normal routine.

Silence.

The tension could have been cut with a knife.

But already the whole course of events became so jammed as if they had forgotten how to talk. A speech therapist should come over and teach them to do so again.

In the morning after their return, everyone in their daily routine – work, meetings, home.

By chance, or by a happy or unhappy accident, Naomi had a visit planned for that day – a cousin who lived in Canada and with whom she had a very close relationship, came to see their loved ones, family. She was supposed to be in Naomi's city only for that very evening as then she would travel further to her parents. They were the closest friends; furthermore, her cousin was three months pregnant. It was unthinkable that they should not meet. Under normal circumstances, she would, of course, invite her to visit at her home, but that was impossible now. None of them would feel comfortable in the tense atmosphere of a dead aquarium that her home turned into – really, to invite her was inappropriate. So they agreed to meet at a restaurant in town, have dinner, a glass of wine maybe, but only maybe, as her cousin was pregnant, apparently she would not drink, and Naomi would be driving. Actually, it should be a simple, ordinary reunion, chat with the best friend, even more, a cousin whom she has not seen for two months. She sent a message to Patrick via messenger.

"I'm going to spend the evening with my cousin. I'll be home around 9. I'm writing this to you, as we're not talking, so just to let you know where I am."

Nothing.

No reaction.

That evening Naomi was already in bed when Patrick came home. His son was somewhere out with friends. Patrick was thus probably also somewhere… with friends. He maybe wants to say something but says nothing. Silence. Naomi is not going to search out where he was. Her dignity does not allow her to start a cross-examination. And also, she sees nothing wrong or forbidden. He sneezed. She says, "Cheers!" He, NOTHING. Another morning, another waking up… another nothing, another silence.

"Please, what's got into you? What bothers you so much? That I danced at Coco Bongo?"

"And what bothered you at the airport? That you were behaving so arrogantly?"

Ah, she forgot about that little incident, that blunder when they all walked into a shop, and after entry, Patrick with his son went one direction, and Naomi other. Two men and one woman in one shop. They met at the cashier where everyone paid for their items. She felt bad about it. She threw at them an arrogant look and a harsh reaction when they wanted to carry her shopping, "No need, I can handle it myself." – A sarcastic, arrogant, sharp tone. Sure, it did not calm the situation down but started up the smouldering embers even more.

She was just sorry that she cared about everything, all the time. Sure it was narrow-minded and pathetic. Now she sees that. But at that moment, she felt that way and endured – as if she were not a part of them; as if she were just some mistress or maid, not an equal partner. With that in mind, which she has now, these reactions would certainly not happen. She was the only cast in the running film. She saw herself in a mirror – Patrick did just what she engineered him to do through her behaviour. If she did not roll into paying all the time, the guys would probably not let that aside. In fact, thanks to this gesture they indeed did not take her as a worthless servant, but as a strong leader, who can and wants to take care of herself.

Those were the deviations – poor and pathetic human deviations. Without them, life would be nicer. Without them, they would not work their way out to a total humiliation at the most primitive level. Without them there would not be an incoming message on her phone two days later, "It'd be better if we split up…"

A text message on the phone on that morning, after two days of silence. On a weekend morning, while she was leaving for a quick "beautifying cure", since there was a stifling silence in the house, she only cried, "I'm off to the beautician and the masseur." Those procedures would normally take about two hours. He knew that very well. So, what drove him to write such a message?

At that time she did not understand and called it a vanity, weakness of a guy who cannot handle a woman because she is powerful, exceptional, independent and self-sufficient. Basically, she does no harm, and that is precisely what hurts him. That there had been no fatal reason; that she had surrendered to their domestic rules and was always at hand – that was the cause that such a "nearly perfect" being had become unbearable. It is not possible for one woman to manage and tolerate all this.

The boys were used to having dinner, "a yummy feast" as they called it, at six in the evening. This timing had given her a hard time in the beginning. For the past five years of solitude, business, and hard work, she was accustomed to ending her day at her company, or the last working meeting at nine or ten o'clock in the evening and to go for her workout afterwards. Patrick, of course, had taken care of dinner… in the first few months. He had either cooked or ordered quality takeaways.

But with any delays, he would increasingly demonstrate his dissatisfaction. Naomi tried to leave work at five, but at that time, she was working on two big international contracts, and her employees were working through the night at work, and she tried to change everything and adapt to a new life. It often took longer than expected before she moved at all in the biggest of traffic jams to get to her new home, to Patrick and his son. Even more so, she was responsible for the company and the employees.

Right after the first few months she already had understood that her financial stability and self-sufficiency are the important impressing elements or "marks of her character" and she did not intend to change this status quo in the future. It was no obstruction for Naomi, as so far, she had looked after herself her whole life, why not to continue… The problem was how to combine everything: a new family and her duties, expectations which she felt as set, smooth operation of the company, securing funding and other things for many more years into the future, in order to still have enough on her account and to continue to be independent and materially self-sufficient, to buy a holiday sometimes or gifts and to still have enough time for cooking, housework, clothes, wardrobes, and washing; ironing and cleaning when a cleaning lady did not show up. How to combine all of that with visits of their friends and family members connected with additional cooking, with family shopping, holidays, golf trips… Golf.

She enjoyed all of this, obviously, but she also had to have the earnings for all of this – now and in the future as well. She got under pretty good stress… On the one hand, she loved Patrick and this lifestyle (it indeed seemed pleasant and nice in greater peace and ease). On the other hand, she had to figure out how and where to win contracts of a necessary amount to have savings for at least 20 years of such life. After all, she was a director general of two sections of international concern. It was her nightmare, and she began to entangle more and more into her own net, better said, her own trap.

New horizons and stimulations for new activities which could help her grow were virtually lost every day with the sunset. In order to not irritate him, she had no PR meetings, business lunches, let alone business dinners. When she needed to deal something really important (it was done strictly on an operational basis, not strategic or planned solutions), she invited the business partners home to Patrick, or they all went out for dinner – including Patrick.

He knew absolutely everything about her.

But Naomi languished in the working area. She got more and more out of the loop. It did not bother her; it was more peaceful and harmonious in that way. It only hit her that she had to ensure XYZ amount on her account and be a self-sufficient and reasonable partner for Patrick.

In fact, it was the opposite of the feminine principle. It was not at all that a wealthy partner would take care of her, no; it was all about how she would manage on his side with her savings.

Well – problem solved.

Patrick solved it. He just did.

The break-up started everything.

This final eviction – took only two hours – Naomi with her temper back then had no need to explain anything. A single SMS? "Split up"?

Like a typhoon, she turned her Mercedes back, parked in front of the house which was empty at that moment, and started packing – fast and furious, recklessly. Patrick found her already in the process of throwing the last bag crammed with things into the boot of her car. He wanted to explain something to her. But there was nothing to say.

Not at that moment.

They both wept.

Two stubborn, vain and ignorant creatures maybe just destroyed something so beautiful that would be able to survive even death…

They did not handle it.

Not that time. And they did not know whether they would get a second chance.

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