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   Chapter 23 NO.23

His Unwanted Bride By Chyica Characters: 11940

Updated: 2018-03-12 19:39

After two and a half months of therapy, it finally seemed like I was getting somewhere. It stopped looking like a waste of time to me.

Therapy gave me a chance to get so many things off my chest and when I had to talk about my relationship with my husband and how my issues affected it, I opened up to the therapist on how I really felt about my husband. Avery was the only one that I told I was in love with Keith. When I told the therapist, she had said You can't truly love someone else if you don't love yourself.

Those words had made me frown. I disagreed with her and I told her I did love myself. Her words had been if you did love yourself, you wouldn't need anyone to tell you that you are beautiful the way you are. And that's the very first step to getting better, accepting yourself for who you are and loving yourself the way you are.

I thought so hard about what she said and I realized it was true. I didn't love myself. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror without hating what I saw in there. I had called myself a failure so many times because I had tried so hard a number of times to work on my weight and failed woefully. I saw myself as that child that ruined everyone's lives because my mum hadn't been ready when I came and I was that love child that had ruined things between my father and Amanda. And when I realized that I really didn't love myself, I had cried so much and then decided to work on it. I figured that if I love myself, I will be happier and stronger, that I won't let what people say about me get to me. So my motto became Be me and Do Me.

Self reflection and meditating every morning just to find my inner me became an everyday thing. I found out that deep down, I resented my parents for being the way they had been with me. I figured that if things had been different when I was younger, I would have grown to be a better person. So I worked on actually forgiving them and then I decided within me to not let that shape who I was anymore.

I started looking at myself in the mirror everyday morning and night after showering. My mantra became "You are beautiful the way you are. You don't need to change yourself, the world should change it's heart." My favourite song became Alessia Cara's No Scars To Your Beautiful. I became more positive. I wanted to be a woman my baby would be proud of calling his mother, I wanted to become my baby's role model. I spent more time around positive people, both online and in the real world.

All that and more made me make peace with who I am. I stopped seeing myself as a failure. So what if I'm fat? It wasn't affecting anyone except me and it wasn't even affecting me at all. So what if Amanda didn't like me? You can't be liked by everyone no matter how good you are. The world will always have something to say. I stopped seeing myself as a failure. So what if I failed to lose weight? So what if I failed to meet up to the world's standard of beauty. What about my other successes? All my final results had come out as distinctions, including the one that made me cry that night. I had had mastered the art of cooking and keeping a home. I had a best friend that loved me for who I am. I realized that all that mattered was how I saw myself and not how others saw me.

I began seeing myself as a made woman, a mother to be, a veterinary doctor to be and a woman that graduated from the University with summa cum laude with a GPA of 3.92 despite the ups and downs I faced throughout those years. I accepted the fact that I was getting a divorce and was going to rais

owing in there.

When a picture came up on the screen, I looked away and focused on Keith's face instead as he looked at the screen. Apparently I was still just a bit scared of seeing something wrong.

"There they are." she said and it took everything in me to not look at the screen. It didn't occur to Keith and I that she said they. All I wanted was for her to say everything looked fine before looking. Keith's brows furrowed in confusion and then he said "Oh my God the baby has two heads."

My eyes snapped back to the screen and just before I could panic, the sonographer replied "No Sir. You're expecting twins and everything looks normal to me."

At that moment, I lost the ability to talk. It was as if every other person in the room disappeared. It was just me and the screen as I really looked at it. Twins. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"Can we—" I started but stopped to clear my throat that was clogged with emotions. "—We want to know the sex."

"Boys." she replied after a while. Everything else passed by like a movie. When she finished up, she left and not long after that the doctor came in. Keith even listened to the doctor more than I did. All I heard her say was No infections, nothing to worry about. I was in a world of my own.

Twin boys and everything is fine with them.

That night, I called my dad to let him know and when I slipped into my bed and pushed the need to go to Keith's room down the hall to the back of my mind and focused on the important things, all I could think of was how everything was looking up and how lucky I was and that made me so happy.

Hey y'all. Another update. Yaay. I hope y'all like it. And she's having twin boys. Double yaay

Apparently there are some errors and holes in the past updates for example I wrote blue instead of green eyes and used name Jason for her highschool bully and the hot nurse. The hot nurse is another Jason. But I'll change it if it's confusing some of you. They are not one and the same. As to the first example, Keith's eyes are green, very bright green not blue. I'll re-read the story, fill in some holes and correct some of the mistakes I made.

Don't forget to vote and comment. I really love seeing your comments. Like I said, it makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. Let me know what you think.

Till next time, ??? and be ??. Smile, live and love yourself.

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