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   Chapter 21 NO.21

His Unwanted Bride By Chyica Characters: 6825

Updated: 2018-03-12 19:38

Knowing I was pregnant and keeping it from my husband who was the father of my baby took so much from me both mentally and physically. I was usually too tired and depressed from thinking so much. I couldn't find it in me to utter those words to anyone because my fear of the unknown was huge. I feared knowing whatever negative reaction Keith would exhibit once he found out. In as much as he's been really nice to me for almost 10months, I still feared that maybe it was all an act, that maybe he didn't actually care and would flip once he knew about the baby. I kept imagining him say why would I want a baby with you? What the fuck were you thinking when you didn't protect yourself to prevent this outcome?

It got so bad that getting rid of the baby crossed my mind and I couldn't forgive myself for even thinking of killing my own baby. I hated myself for it. I had tried pouring everything out in my journal but it hadn't helped.

So the day Avery came to see me, I broke down before him. I couldn't stop wriggling and squeezing my fingers as I poured it all out to him and I couldn't even face him because I was so scared of seeing judgment on the face that had come to mean so much to me.

"Danica..." he started but I cut him off as I buried my face in my hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry sorry. I would never do something like that. I don't know why it came to my mind in the first place. I just thought that even if he is pretending, so long as there's no baby, he won't feel the need to..."

"Danica shut up and listen to me first. You need help. I don't mean to be rude but your low self esteem right now is just at the height of it. I don't know what is going on with you right now, why all this is happening, why you're suddenly this depressed and negative. You were never like this in the past. I knew you were insecure but you've never been in your head the way you are right now and it's not healthy. You were stronger than this, you stood up to your mother in-law and Keith. You stopped letting them walk all over yo

ad been cutting lettuce when he walked into the kitchen with Leo.

Putting on my best fake smile, I turned to say hello to them. A hug from Leo and a kiss from Keith changed the smile to a real one even if it was a small smile. Leo was such a cool person and Keith was the man I loved. I couldn't help the joy I felt at seeing both of them. Telling them dinner would be ready soon and shooing them out of the kitchen, I made a mental to-do list.

¤ Tell Keith about the baby.

¤ Talk to him about my insecurities.

¤ Talk to him about how his mother's

Nastiness was affecting me negatively.

¤ Confide in him about needing help.

I had just finished cutting the tomatoes when I heard the door upstairs slam shut and thundering footsteps rushed down the stairs before he came barreling into the kitchen with a familiar notebook in his hands. Throwing it on the island, he pointed at the words written in black ink with my own curvy handwriting.

Dear Diary, today I thought of aborting my own baby.

"What the fuck is this Danica?"

Happy new year to you guys!! I already had this chapter typed and waiting for today's update. I hope 2018 will be nice to us all.

Peace and be happy. Don't forget to vote and comment. Like I said, they really really do make me feel so fuzzy inside ??

PS: the video above is my wish for us all this year

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