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   Chapter 30 November th.

The Devil's Diary By Paul Kater Characters: 9388

Updated: 2018-02-11 12:04

Dear diary.

Guess what. The paparazzi must have been doing overtime last night. There was an all fresh Hellish News on the doorstep today, the ink still wet, as they say. The whole rag was about the upheaval at the old eastern block hell, with pictures and interviews. The really funny bit in it all is that there also is an interview with me printed. I should find Buddy or Carlisle someday soon, and find out how they managed to interview me while I had left the scene already. The picture of me they put in there is a nice one, but it is old. I don't have that coat anymore.

They did get Igor's side of the story down pretty accurately, given that they only made some spelling mistakes in the names of some of the Russians. And that there only were two demons instead of half an army of them. Also I am not certain why they complain they were not allowed to do a psychological profile on some of the Mafia guys. They can't even write the word 'psychological' right.

In the morning I hid at the office. Maurice was smart enough not to ask too many things concerning the rag, he simply asked how things had gone there from my point of view. He too noticed that there were many things that did not match the printed matter. A nice touch of him was that he used it to light a few red and black candles.

Red and black candles are good. They make for a very relaxing atmosphere. Well, of course it is not the colour alone, it also has a lot to do with the perfume smell that comes from them when they burn. And the cognac we drank while we were contemplating the state of affairs in hell up to now. Moments like that are precious. Maurice is a good sounding board for things like these. He is just as silent as I am then.

A message has come in from the Glor-y-hus guys. They had heard from their dead that I sometimes show up in their afterlife and they really appreciate that personal attention. Well, I am all for the personal approach. That is where we can make a difference. Keep the customer satisfied and all that. They offered a return visit to their planet someday. That might a thing worth following up. It is always good to expand one's horizon, right?

The afternoon brought the tricky bit again. It was the last day of the month today, so it was time for the Pagan reincarnation ritual. My biggest problem with that is that I never know what I should wear to that occasion. After all these centuries it is always the same thing. A white robe goes well with the Wiccans, but the Druids disapprove since I am not a Druid. A green cloak goes well with the Druids and Asatru, but the Germanic folks object to that. A simple black suit doesn't do it either, that reminds all of them too much of the death rites of the Christians. Also many of the witches don't think that it proper attire as it

I am not easily impressed, but still, seeing these souls lie down, roll up and then slowly evaporate, well, that is quite something. It all just happens like it is supposed to be that way. After the last soul had laid down and disappeared, Sylvester and Sally went through their lines of thanking everyone and everything again, did something interesting with a sword (nice touch, perhaps I should get me one of those things) and then the ritual was over. Before I could think 'now someone get me a big stiff drink' someone did just that. It is so nice to have people around who know what a devil needs.

It did turn out that most of them were ready for the same thing, so we encouraged each other to encourage the others to drink on. After all, it is not every day that we help seventeen people to be reborn. And the great thing is that we get to do that again in any time between five and ninety odd years! Cheers!


About the author:

Paul Kater was born in the Netherlands in 1960. He quickly developed a feel for languages but did not pursue a career in those as his native language, Dutch, did not offer many options in that time.

After learning far too much about computers he started to make a living with them. During all that time he always wrote short stories, little things to entertain family and friends and also himself with.

Since 2003 he's been writing more seriously, first posting his scribblings on an amateur writer's mailing list, and then publishing shorter and longer stories on the internet. Due to the international character of the Internet, all Paul's stories so far are written in English.

Paul currently lives in Cuijk, in the Netherlands, with his books and the many characters he's developed in the past years, who claim he is a figment of their imagination.

You can visit the author at


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