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   Chapter 14 November th.

The Devil's Diary By Paul Kater Characters: 11462

Updated: 2018-02-11 12:04


Dear diary.

Today I have discovered that the Africans can be very impatient. VERY impatient. Okay, I had forgotten to ask Maurice to take care of the shipment of oil and coal that somehow got dumped in their area, but for crying out loud, what problem is it if it is there for a few more days??? I stepped out of the house this morning and I went down flat on my face, gobbling oil. The Africans somehow moved the whole shebang to the house, coal and all. The oil tank got damaged, had been leaking for a while (just a slow trickle), and there was this solid puddle of the stuff near the step down from the door. And I had not seen it. Oil is slippery. Crap. Especially when you step into it and are not prepared for it. Double crap. Had to go back in, clean myself up, talked to Maurice about the mess outside and went out through the backdoor.

These Africans. I told them it was for the Ruskis, so if they were moving the stuff then why not down there immediately! They must have used one of their more potent witch doctors for that. Some people laugh about them, but I have seen plenty of proof that these guys with their tiger skin cloaks and feathers in their hair can do amazing tricks. And they don't need mirrors either.

Heard a rumour today about a big accident on an earth filmset. Some kind of explosion in India, killing a load of people. Nobody knows the details yet, so we are just going to sit and wait for someone to show up. Would be weird if all these movie stars and such are good ones. I count on at least half of them getting in here! There won't be as many as a few days ago though. On the 9th there was a suicide bomber somewhere in Afghanistan who took out ninety people. We got the murderer in just a few hours later already. He is not going anywhere for a while, that's for sure!

I don't know what it is with these people. I talked to Allah about it, and he is lost for words too. He says it is not something in his book that should drive people to do something like that.

"It's always these fanatics, Bill, " he said, when we chatted about it. "Just like the Christians or any other race. Once they got their idiot minds set on something, no matter how radical it is, they go for it and always blame the gods. Well, who am I telling. You are dealing with the morons down in the old sinner's mosk."

But, as we in the trade say, death goes on as much as life does, and perhaps even more!

After doing the morning rounds and getting some inbetween snack with the Greeks (love their salad, really love it), I headed back to the office to see if things were all under control. To my utmost joy I saw that the entire oil and coal stuff had been removed already. When I told Maurice that he had done an outstanding job, he looked at me befuddled, though.

"I didn't have time to do something about that yet, " he said.

But the coal and stuff is gone... I wonder what happened. A tank of oil and a huge container of coal don't usually walk off on their own... I may have to call on Terrible Ivan again. Howard Levey still isn't up to moving round without a cane. You can say about Ivan what you want, but when he lands a punch, it is there to last! The schmuck...

And then happened what I was afraid of since a few days. Buddy Hopkiss happened. In my office. Not just the world, but all Hell could do without Buddy Hopkiss and the likes. He is one of the paparazzi's that run all over the pla

l type. Nice suit, shoes shining, coat and tie, and a very fashionable hat. The spitting image of Wilfred, only in different colours. Wilfred explained what we expected him to do.

"You head over to the Russians. You know, the uniform wearing fat guys in the old eastern block section. Yes, the ones with the vodka affliction, those. You go there, keep this ID card handy, and get them to sign these papers. Then get your ass back here and give us the papers."

Joey nodded, took the paperwork and left. While he was out on the road to the eastern block section, we had the agonising chore of killing time. Things like that bring up a lot of tension and suspense, you should know, so we did our best to drown out most of our misery with cognac and stuff like that. It's hardly going to kill us, you know!

Joey finally came back, a big grin on his face. Things had all gone like clockwork. He had made the guys sign the papers, under the cover of them being papers from their own lawyer, stating their case clearly. He had put copies of the signed papers in envelopes and given them to the Russians, so they had copies of their own. Of course, what they had been signing were work agreements. With the conditions that I wanted in there. Like hard physical labour. You get all the pictures. I thanked him and Wilfred for their valuable assistance. Now I can't wait for the other lawyer to come back. I have an envelope waiting for him.

This all took care of most of the afternoon as you can imagine. It was fun though, fighting and beating the Russians with their own weapons. And I am sure we have got them nailed to the floor, they are not going anywhere unless I tell them to. They want paperwork, they get paperwork. They have been messing with the wrong guy, I can genuinely state that now. Hah. We really gave them HELL! (Haha, that's funny!)

This evening will be a nice one again, if all goes according to plan and schedule. Nafaru called me and also sent me some mails, asking if I could please make my way over there this evening, as there was a lot of re-enacting she wants to discuss with me. I am very much up for that, and you bet that I am going to make my fingers do the talking. Walking. Or whatever that line was. We are not going to be bored, that's for sure!

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