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   Chapter 15 Strawberry Shrimp Ambitions

If the duke desires By Hathor Rao Characters: 7679

Updated: 2018-01-24 17:56

'You can't dislike horse racing!' I announce trying to pry her hands away from her eyes 'I don't know how you stand this!' she cries out lifting her knees off the chair as if to get into the foetal position 'it's more entertaining than basketball.' I announce. She gasps and straightens up 'what did you say?' she investigates squinting her eyes at me dangerously

'I said it is more entertaining than basketball.' I reiterate lightly

'how would you know? Basketball is the best sport on earth and you English people need to style up!' she announces passionately 'it's physical and homosexual.' I say as she gasps again 'well all your sports include cruelty to the environment!' she re-joins angrily 'men in shorts like that, jumping with so much contact and rubbing crotches against faces; it's disgusting.' I report

'that horse doesn't want to run like that! It just wants to eat grass and shit!!' she declares, our conversation turning a few heads 'and who said that guy wanted crotches on his game. It's called defence not homosexuality!' I hiss right back 'polo is stupid!' she shouts 'so is baseball!' I yell back at her 'you are all hazards to the environment! No wonder the number two cause of global warming is human interference!! You all should be ashamed of yourselves!' she declares impassioned

'And you should stop encouraging your men towards homosexuality and complaining about it!' I re-join 'we're homosexuals?? You don't see half as many FOPS in America!' she shrieks hysterically shaking her head at me 'because we don't think Gorillas are worth aspiring to look like does not mean we are fops!' I argue 'oh no you didn't!' she exclaims in shock 'I did!' I confirm 'you're friends are boring!!! You are the most boring nation in the entire world!!!' she announces in recompense, kneeling on her seat now 'because we don't look like gorillas or because we have manners???' I probe. She grunts and shows me her middle finger and adds her tongue to the equation. 'Turning gorilla are we?' I tease 'I hate horse racing!!!' she cries out for lack of remuneration on her part, the security people walking towards us. I stand up 'we're leaving.' I assure them

'you got us kicked out.' I point out with a smile 'you genius!' she chuckles lightly realizing what I've done. I brus

are boring though.' she sighs 'I'll have you know we have the most entertaining football league in the world 'and how many English people play in the league? Don't think I'm dumb. I know y'all import fly Europeans so we have to watch their asses in them tight shorts; it's a conspiracy.' She announces. I turn to her 'is everything a conspiracy?' I probe. She smiles 'you can't deny that though.' She says knowingly

'Theo Walcott is quite the heartthrob and he's inbred.' I argue 'let's just discuss the big names David Beckham I'll give you that though personally I don't find him attractive. Thierry Henry? Not from here, Robert Pires? Not from here, Freddy Ljunberg? Not from here Cristiano Ronaldo? Nani? Gilberto Silva? Ballack? Toure? Who the hell plays for here from here?' she pries 'Rooney.' I shrug. She smiles 'shearer, David Seaman' I add 'we should go for lunch.' She says reaching for the visor on the ground. 'You mean before they come out after us again and I end up having to harm Hilliard for his loud mouth syndrome?' I lightly say. She smiles and puts the visor back on. I twist it around to the back so her face isn't hidden from me and then caress her cheek, swiping the smooth chocolate surface with my thumb. I'm glad Lucas didn't tell her about the stupid reasons I have for being with her! I need to satiate certain urges before the world returns to its right course. She stops my hand 'we should go.' She reiterates 'we should.' I concur standing up and taking her hand as I lead her out to the car...

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