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   Chapter 19 No.19

There Will Be Walrus First Volume V By CamestrosFelapton Characters: 5265

Updated: 2017-12-27 12:02

"The laird has been missing these past four weeks sir. Nobody knows where he be, not Lady Arden, not the servants not even his faithful hound Sparkles."

"Well that is deuced mysterious!" exclaimed Harry in an exclamatory manner, "But I say, I still need some way of getting to Awfulplace Hall. Is there perhaps a bicycle or rickshaw I could make use of?"

"Well, it might not be fitting for a man of your noble and gentle nature sir, but my pony and cart could carry you and your luggage to Awfulplace Hall. For tax purposes you'll need to book it via Uber but really that is just a formality."

Harry quickly arranged the exchange via his iPhone and before he knew it, they had set off together up the winding cliff road and into the heart of the Isle of Sodar.

The clip-clop of the horse and cart through the country lanes, ranked by hedgerows, began to lull Harry to sleep. The weather was surprisingly warm and balmy for February but still consistent with a cyclical model of global temperatures in which apparent 'warming' was simply part of a series of natural warming and cooling phases with no connection to so called 'greenhouse' gases at all, as Harry had extensively proven in his recent monograph.

Harry's reverie was suddenly broken by the sound of a bus approaching from the opposite direction.

"I say!" cried out Harry to the driving yokel, "That's an omnibus! Did you not say there were no cars on Sodar?"

"The laird makes an exception for the bus sir. The locals don't really approve of it though. Had a race with a train the other month and th

was murdered!" she whispered conspiratorially, "By Percy!"

"Percy? Who is this bounder.?I shall whip him with my cane and then frogmarch him to the authorities!" exclaimed Harry.

"Sush! They will hear us!" warnedLady Arden in a voice like a velvet kitten, "Percy isn't a person, Percy is a, know, a…" Lady Arden then made some choo-choo noises and mimed wheels on a track going round-and-round and then pumped her fist up and down and went "whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo."

"Egads woman! Are you trying to tell me that Henreid was murdered by a train!"

"No, he was murdered by an ENGINE. A train is the engine plus the carriages. I have absolutely no reason to think the carriages were involved. Arabella is quite charming and we often have nice chats." explainer Lady Arden didactically.

Lady Arden ushered Harry indoors.

"It is not safe to speak of this here. Meet me in five minutes in the old chapel. It is a magical place. We could maybe drink some wine, hang out, talk things over. OK?" stated Lady Arden in a more cheery manner.

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