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   Chapter 18 No.18

There Will Be Walrus First Volume V By CamestrosFelapton Characters: 6012

Updated: 2017-12-27 12:02

[Supreme President of the Solar System] Jim Ford, since you started your illustrious career as a space captain, this solar system has been ravaged by a mutant space fungus, lost multiple asteroid colonies, had the WHOLE PLANET of Venus eaten by a space monster, had multiple military conflicts and to top it all, somebody just dropped several ginormous rocks on a number of Earth cities killing billions and plunging the planet into a nuclear winter. We have backtracked the root causes of all these events and each and every one comes back to you and your *&^%$ing meddling. For the sake of humanity, you, your crew, your ship and your ship's cat Sparkles have to die. It is not required that you die slowly and in great pain - that's just an added bonus.

[The Supreme President of the Solar System turns to somebody off-screen]

Open fire!!!!

[First Officer Nora Nuggets] eep!

How will Captain Jim Ford get out of this predicament?! Find out in Book 17 of The Expense series: Ciabatta Burn: Alien Fungus Time Machine.

Iron Chamber of Walrus

Introduction by Camestros Felapton: Timothy hates the word 'pastiche', he prefers the word 'homage' (although he does confuse that with cheese). People often forget the debt Timothy owes to John C. Wright, multiple Hugo nominee and one of the few self-confessed finest writers in the world today. Yet Timothy also deeply values the work of one of Britain's great 'superversive' fantasy authors. Like Wright, the Reverend Wilbert Awdry was a religious man whose theological perspective informed his inspiring works of speculative fiction - work that anticipated the 'steam punk' trends of today. Timothy has crafted this story as a tribute to both men. Having said that, Timothy did get stuck with how to finish the story and how to include a wa

stay with my old college chum Henreid Arden. Apparently he lives there with his lovely wife, who I haven't met before and whom he married under mysterious circumstances. I did send him several letters last month saying I was on my way but mysteriously he never replied to them, despite his original invitation." explained Dockworthy in a manner that he hoped was not overly intellectually challenging for the simple peasant before him.

"Arrh, " repeated the peasant, rolling his Rs like the rolling green hills of Sodar, "Then I have both confusing and alarming news for your sir. Your college chum, Henreid Arden, IS the feudal laird of the Isle of Sodar! I'm surprised he never mentioned this to you sir, particularly as I know for a fact he always wore his ceremonial robes of lairdship even while at college."

"Well, now that you mention it, I always found his dress sense a tad eccentric but you know these aristocratic families - they simply hate to spend money on new clothes. But tell me good fellow, you also mention that your news would be alarming - I see nothing alarming about my good friend being actually a man of noble and high position. Tell me, what other news do you have?"

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