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   Chapter 9 No.9

McEdifice Returns By CamestrosFelapton Characters: 6006

Updated: 2017-12-27 12:02


Her best was damn good. I could drown in those eyes like a vole in a molasses factory.

"Tell me more, " I said, regaining my composure, "about this sabotage. What exactly was done to the paper?"

Ms. Qzrrzxxzq looked startled. "How did you know paper was sabotaged?" she asked surprised.

"A simple deduction Ms. Qzrrzxxzq. You came for my help, not the janitor, not HR and not security." I said leaning back into my chair.

"You didn't mention IT." said Ms. Qzrrzxxzq.

"Come now Ms. Qzrrzxxzq, nobody seeks out IT for help. So your sabotage must be photocopier related. Yet if it was a mechanical fault, you would just assume the copier was broken, so you must have spotted that the paper stock had been tampered with." I explained.

"Well done, Mr McEdifice, but can you help me?" she asked leaning forward.

"Ms. Qzrrzxxzq, I am at your disposal."

Chapter Sort of Pulpish Cover

By Sir Timothy Talking-Cat-Doyle and Straw Ellery Queen Puppy

McEdifice and the Case of the Paper Sabotage

War veteran turned ace photocopier maintenance operative, Chiseled McEdifice was on a stake out. He'd been commissioned by the beautiful yet mysterious Ms. Qzrrzxxzq, Director of Post-planning Process at the firm of Spindle, Spindle and Gatefold, to discover the identity of the copying saboteur. The timely printing of important reports had been repeatedly delayed due to the copying paper being crumpled, made damp, or stolen.

McEdifice had learned to tolerate much on this job, unsanitary coffee mugs, PowerPoint presentations, oddly unspecific meetings, people trying to fax their voicemail, but the one thing he would not tolerate is some low life interfering with the sacred integrity of his reams. He'd learned to respect the inherent beauty of 80 gsm 20% recycled white A4 15

ely headed off down the corridor. Breaking cover, McEdifice followed.

After a short pursuit, McEdifice found himself in section M – the collaboration and hot-desk zone of the Project-Initiation Gantt Chart Oversight Enabling Team. With firm but silent steps, McEdifice caught up with his quarry. With one mighty grasp of his firm hand he pulled the promotional hat from the head of saboteur.

"Simon Popwhistle! Head of the Project-Initiation Gantt Chart Oversight Enabling Team!" exclaimed McEdifice, reading the man's name banch in a tone of surprise.

"Yes! It was ME Simon Popwhistle! Head of the Project-Initiation Gantt Chart Oversight Enabling Team! It was I who sabotaged the paper supplies! Do you want to know why? Why I was driven to such lengths! It is simple! Pure professional jealousy! I hate that Pre-Project Timeline Coordination Team – always trying to steal our glory. Secret heretic everyone of them. Particularly that green-skinned manipulator Ms. Qzrrzxxzq. Oh you probably think you are in her favour now but JUST YOU WAIT. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but sometime soon she will betray you just as she betrayed me in the inter-office fantasy football league!"

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