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   Chapter 8 No.8

McEdifice Returns By CamestrosFelapton Characters: 5740

Updated: 2017-12-27 12:02


Hi, it's your friendly neighbourhood Straw Puppy here, ready to tell you another FANTASTIC tale of the galaxies MIGHTIEST hero!

When we last saw CHISELED McEDIFICE, he had been forced to get a job in an office to make enough money to get a space flight home! What will happen next! Will space vampires attack his new office? Will he finally discover the fate of his demonically possessed wife? Will he enact revenge against the nefarious Treerat Gang? Find out!

Ok, Ok. Here's the first picture. This business guy is trying to get his business report from the printer. But where is it! It just isn't printing is it!

Oh no!

I mean, like, he's checked everything and nothing is coming out of that darn machine!

Maybe he needs to climb back here and have a look?

Oh no! It his boss! She's like "Where's that report doofus?" and he's like "I don't know boss!"

And his boss is like "Well have you asked the photocopy guy for some help, you big doofus?"

And he's like "Don't be a meany head or I'll tell HR that you like broke the office 'don't be a meany head' policy" and she's like "Fer shit's sake I just want the bloody report!"

And they are arguing and then McEdifice turns up because he IS the photocopy guy and they explain what is happening.

And so McEdifice goes "I'll see what the problem is…"

And McEdifice lifts the whole blimmin' thing over his head! and the boss is like "woah!" and the doofus business guy is like "This guy is huuggee and totally doesn't look like the artist got the scale all wrong."

"This machine is under alien mind control! shouts McEdifice and with one mighty thrust he throws the copier to the ground! The business guy is shouting at his boss "This was

smell right about this and I don't just mean her cigarette in what was a clearly sign-posted no-smoking building.

"You understand, I hope, Mr McEdifice, that your concepts of beauty and sexuality are not just species specific but also confined to a particular set of times and cultures within your own human history." Ms. Qzrrzxxzq knew not only how to walk in high heels but also how to deconstruct a flattering remark using a framework of comparative space sociology. "My appearance is a combination of exquisite taste, force-fields and holograms carefully curated so that I conform to the stereotypical expectations of the retrogressive culture of Planet Campus."

"So what you are saying is that you want me to trust you but that you are a phony?" I said pointedly.

"I'm a xeno-anthropologist by training Mr McEdifice. Planet Campus was intended to be a case study as part of my second doctoral degree. Unfortunately advances by the forces of the Space Vampires have cut the space-lanes between here and my home world Qzrixion, " She took another long draw on her cigarette, "Like you, I'm an exile here, just trying to do my best."

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