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   Chapter 6 No.6

McEdifice Returns By CamestrosFelapton Characters: 5521

Updated: 2017-12-27 12:02


"What? How long was I asleep for?" asked McEdifice in a state of panic.

Mr Ernie dismounted from his bike and looked at McEdifice solemnly. "It has been fifteen long years since we last met McEdifice. 'Tis said that the spooky forest is haunted and those that anger the forest spirits have been known to sleep the sleep of a dozen-years-and-three."

"Oh no!" cried McEdifice, "I never meant to anger the forest spirits!" he sobbed.

"Ah, I was just messing with you because you are such a tremendous arsehole." said Mr Ernie, "It's only been a few hours. Peace was declared last night. The camp was woken at five am and everybody was demobbed by six. Buses to the space port left at seven. You'd have known all this if you hadn't broken regulations and snuck out last night."

"Shit, but we still have a boxing duel to fight!" said McEdifice.

"No way! And don't go thinking you can punch me. Now we are both officially civilians that would be common assault. I'd better be on my way – my wife is expecting me back in an hour."

"You aren't leaving the planet with the rest of them?" asked McEdifice.

"No, I'm a local boy. I'm going back to my old job, faxing special offers for toner cartridges to offices. Oh, you'd better get a move on by the way. The last military transport leaves at ten thirty." explained Mr Ernie.

"Shit! Can I borrow your bike?" asked McEdifice.

"No, because I hate you, " said Mr Ernie, "See you around helmet-head!" With that Mr Ernie cycled off into the distance.

Wet, confused and looking like he was wearing a bad attempt at a garlic-scented hedgehog costume, McEdifice looked at the long trail back t

ver to the neighbouring system of Bip-Bop Alpha – the jigsaw system of wooden puzzles and cake stands. That would be only 1.2 kilocredits. That will give you access to the platform and you could sort out your booking up their AND get a refund (minus booking fee) on the commercial flight." said the robot with a proactive helpfulness that gave it an inner feeling of warmth and comfort. It liked helping customers in a way that almost bordered on sexual self-gratification.

"Great! I'll do that!" said McEdifice.

"I should warn you the booking fee can be quite high, " said the robot.

"I don't care. I've places to be. Here is my credit spool-cassette." McEdifice handed over the hi-tech magnetic tape cassette on which was stored his financial transactions – allowing for interstellar commerce despite the limitations of speed of light communications and the fact that you couldn't use ansibles for money exchanges for reasons we can't think of right now.

The robot took the credit spool-cassette and placed it into the tape-player. As it spooled along the player gave a "doohnkg" noise.

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