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   Chapter 3 How to Turn Yourself Into The One

The Ultimate Dating Diary By A. Royden D'souza Characters: 12534

Updated: 2017-12-06 19:04

MAKE FRIENDS, Try talking to new people every day. Apart from increasing your communication skills, it will also boost your confidence. You will become more easygoing and cool, and you will be able to learn the behavior of different people, thus making it easier for you to find the right one.

THE RIGHT BEHAVIOR, Women often waste their time trying to change their appearance instead of improving on their behavior. There is nothing against maintaining your appearance, but obsessing too much about it is bad. Physical appearance is temporary. Beauty matters, but not as much as your character.

BE EXTRAORDINARY, Come out of your comfort zone and try to stand out from the crowd. Don"t you want to meet someone extraordinary? Then be extraordinary, so you can get the extraordinary. Everyone has their own talents and skills. All you have to do is find yours and build up on that. As long as you do not give up, you will be extraordinary, no doubt about that.

BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE, Always be confident, you know what you want and what you deserve. If you are a confident woman, you will be comfortable in every social situation. Don"t go wasting your time comparing yourself to other women. They might have some qualities that you don"t have, but you will be have some of your own qualities that she doesn"t have. A confident woman never gets intimidated by looks, riches and status. She knows she is worth more than all of those things. A secure and confident man will lose interest in you if you are insecure and lack confidence.

GET A LIFE, BE INDEPENDENT, My advice is, before you get into a relationship, build a strong career. Be independent. Engage in meaningful activities that you actually love. Surround yourself with people who boost your confidence. Never rely on a man. It is your life, live it your way.

Men are attracted to independent women, because they know that an independent woman will not smother them. Independent women are challenging and hence very much sought after. If you are independent, you will have the upper hand. You don"t have to listen to everything he says. You can do your own thing. Do not compromise your thoughts and beliefs just for the sake of his approval.

CONVERSATION, Engage in conversations. The more you converse with people, the more confidence you will gain. Starting a conversation is one of the most important things to get the guy.

Learn to compliment. Ask for advice. You don"t have to talk with only the people you like. You can start a conversation with anyone. It will also improve your communication and confidence, not to mention the courage to start a conversation with your crush.

MINDSET, Some of you might think, if he liked you, he would have talked to you by now. But you are wrong. He might be crushing over you and he wouldn"t be doing anything about it. He might be intimidated by you.

In fact, the more they are attracted to you, the harder it is for them to strike a conversation with you. Just because they don"t approach you, do not think they are not attracted to you.

One of the reasons he will not approach you is because he is worried you will turn him down. He doesn"t want to be embarrassed in front of his friends. Nobody wants to get rejected. Why go through such difficulty? Just try to make light conversation, you can ask him for time, for directions etc.

Remember, every relationship begins with a simple conversation. Don"t give up after a rejection. If you gave up after every rejection, you would have to be alone for the rest of your life.

YOU HAVE A BETTER CHANCE, Some women think that there is too much competition out there. That is bullshit.

It is normal to feel butterflies in your stomach when you approach a guy that you are attracted to. Good looks are only one of the qualities that you need in a guy. Try starting a conversation with him. You can find out whether he has any other qualities that you like. Whenever you see a guy that you are attracted to, you force your mind to think that he has all the qualities that you desire, but remember, he is just someone you want to talk to so that you can find out whether he is really worthy of you. Whenever you make an effort to start a conversation, it is not because you want him, it is because you are giving him a chance to prove himself.


The Three Questions Every Girl Should Have

*Does he have the qualities you want in a man?

*Does he make you feel good about yourself?

*Does he treat you the way a lady should be treated?


Some Basic Rules

DATE PEOPLE YOUR OWN AGE, A difference of one or two years is fine, but more than that is a bad idea. People around your age will have similar maturity as you, and hence it will be easier to be around them.

SET BOUNDARIES, Tell him beforehand what you are comfortable with and what you are not comfortable with. Tell him what kind of a person you are. This is very important.

KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP OFF SOCIAL MEDIA, If you are looking for something serious, posting about your relationship on social media is a bad idea. It will add unnecessary pressure on your relationship.


How to impress him on the first date

The reason you go out on a date with a guy is to check your compatibility. It may be a success or it may be a failure. Be ready to accept rejection, and always be a lady if he is making efforts to be a gentleman.


First impression lasts for a long time, so have a decent look on the first date. Be a lady, but don"t overdo it. Be yourself, there is nothing more beautiful than being yourself.


Sit back and give him an opportunity to pamper you. If you need something, tell him. If you need any help ask him. Every gentleman likes to help a damsel in distress.


Have some topics ready with you just in case the conversation falters. You can talk about school, your hobbies, music, movies....this way you can avoid awkward silence.


Playfulness is one of the most attractive qualities you can have. You can act goofy. Be a cool and easy person to hang out with. The colder you are, more undesirable you get.



le whenever you can, and laugh if he says something funny. It will make him more comfortable and less nervous around you.


Don"t just sit back and let him do all the talking. Remember, it is not an interview. Ask him a few questions too. You can ask him to elaborate on something. Guys love it when girls show interest. The only way to keep the conversation going is by asking questions.


Attempt to pay, at least for the first few dates. It shows that you are genuinely interested in him. But be prepared to pay. It would be a little embarrassing if you attempt to pay and he actually lets you to.


Say whatever you want to say directly. Don"t expect him to read between the lines and end up getting disappointed. Just tell him what you want him to know.


Always be positive. It will make the date fun and more enjoyable.


Just be yourself, especially on the first date. Let him like you for what you really are. You don"t have to change anything for him. If they can"t embrace you for what you are, trust me, they are not worth your time.


Live in the moment. Don"t be "by the book" kinda girl. Don"t live your life according to plans and rules. Don"t recite conversations, or you might as well ask him to hand over his resume. Be spontaneous. Think that you are talking to your friend. Don"t stick to the script, you are not hiring him for a job.


Let the first date be short and sweet. Don"t drag it out or you will end up running out on topics to talk about. Opt for something like lunch or a drink. But don"t go dumping your sob stories and gossips on him, at least not till you are in a real relationship.


Remember to say thanks. It shows that you appreciate his efforts.


Be friendly with him. You can even invite him to hang out with you and your friends. It will be relaxing for both of you. Remember, do not treat him like a potential spouse. Remove the pressure and be friendly.


Remember, don"t mistake confidence with arrogance. It doesn"t matter how pretty you are. If you are arrogant, no one will like you, and you might end up with some loser. Simplicity and confidence will make you more attractive, whereas arrogance will just bring you down.

It is natural to be nervous on your first date, but try yo be as confident as possible. One way to build your confidence is, before you go to the date, you can make a list of things that you like about yourself and read it out loud in front of the mirror. It will give you confidence. Carry yourself with grace.

When you leave, part with confidence. Say things like, "I had a great time, I look forward to seeing you again" and stuff like that. If you did not like him much, you can say "I"ll call you" or something like that, even though you are not gonna call him.


Hold his hands or you can even lean on his shoulder if you are watching a movie together, it is a sign of affection. Walk close to each other.


Eye contact is very important. When you are having a conversation, look him in the eye and do not look down. Looking away while talking is a sign of insecurity or a lack of interest.


If he is trying really hard to woo you, go easy on him, compliment him, but not too much that he treats you like a pushover. Saying " you look really nice ", or "wow, nice outfit" is acceptable, but don"t go saying things like " you look gorgeous" or " you look sexy " or stuff like that.

If he compliments you, just say Thank you. Don"t go around saying stuff like "Really?" or "No I don"t" or "You are kidding" or "You think so?". It shows that you are insecure and not confident in yourself. What I"m trying to say is, don"t negate his compliments.


Don"t use too much perfume. Pick a light perfume, and apply it liberally over the pulse points like palms, neck, back of the neck, etc.


Don"t go wearing short dress or skirts if you are planning to go bowling or hiking. Dress for the occasion. Wear whatever you are comfortable with. Dress in softer shades during your first few dates. Dressing out of your comfort zone will make you feel on edge and subconscious, so always dress within your comfort zone.


Always keep it light. An excess application is a major turnoff. If you do it right you can pull it off. If you are not good at it, then don"t do it.


Wearing ornaments is acceptable, but keep it light. Do not wear too much jewelry.


Shower, brush and floss your teeth before you go on a date. Make sure that your hands are clean and your legs well groomed. It will make you look more appealing. Keep your hands soft by using moisturizers.


Do not order anything expensive unless you are sure he can afford it.


Giving him a hug or a kiss on the cheek is acceptable. Even a kiss on the lips is acceptable, but again it depends on the social mindset. Because, some people might take it more casually than others.


Be careful with gift giving. Put some thought into it. It involves giving the right thing to the right person at the right time. Know his taste. Ask him about his favorite things well before you actually give him a gift.


Everyone faces rejection. You might get rejected by someone, or you might reject someone else. Be positive. Do not let anyone bring you down. Do not ever beg for attention, and walk away in style. It only means that he is not the one.


Two Important Things You Should Keep In Mind


If you want to attract a good and genuine person who will love you, you should learn to love yourself first. If you do not love yourself, you cannot expect others to love you, and you will end up attracting the wrong people.

Always be yourself. If they cannot accept your flaws, they are not worth your time. Relationships are about acceptance and tolerance. Do not try to be perfect for others. Let them accept the real you. Do not try too hard, it will only lead to resentment.

Be yourself.


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